Healing
by Caila17
Summary: 1 yr after DT. Dean’s in a coma, John’s left to “End it” and Sam's sticking close to Dean. When Dean makes a miraculous recovery questions are raised, secrets come to light within the family and sam may not be the only one with an unusual destiny
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is recognizable. I have no money either so there. Hah.

Set after Devil's trap so there are some spoilers for the first series. Dean's been in a coma for a year, John's left to "End it" and Sam has been sticking close to Dean. What's Dean missed in his sleepy state and what's that tiny little secret that he's managed to keep from the rest of the Winchester family?

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_He knew that he was dreaming. There was that weird floating feeling that was just not normal. _

_He stood in the middle of a park, a normal park that could be found anywhere over the world. Kids swinging, shouting, laughing. Sun ridiculously bright and something casting shadows over where he stood and watched._

_He turned around at the sound of a familiar voice calling him. The kid was about eight, staring at the happy scene in longing. The floppy hair and already slightly gangly limbs were almost as familiar as his own face._

_Sammy._

_Little Sammy, staring at the kids ahead of him, clearly wanting to join in. likely to whine about it whenever they were alone in whatever dump was this weeks home. And, behind his little brother he saw a younger version of himself. There was no longing, only a hunted suspicious look on his face. A wary look that softened ever so slightly when he glanced at his brother._

_But they stood at the edge, always at the edge._

_Flash._

_The sound of metal splitting, screaming. The flash of sirens and the unnatural light that they cast. Too much blood coming from the front of his beloved car and unmoving silhouettes that should be moving but remained utterly still._

_Flash_

_He was back at that park again, the sound around him dimming as he lost himself in the longing look cast at the playing kids._

"_Dad"_

_He turned around at the sound of that particular voice. _

_Blond hair that was ruffled in the wind, huge hazel eyes that took in everything with curiosity and excitement. A face that was so young, and so painfully innocent._

"_James?" he whispered unsure what to believe, knowing for sure that this had to be a dream._

_The boy stared up at him with delight. "Your ok"_

_Curious Dean pulled a face at his boy "What do you mean"_

"_Dad you've been unreachable for a year"_

_Dean starred down at the kid speechless. This was just a dream right?_

The Park was gone and once again there was a flicker of pain. A beeping that would not leave and such an unbearable ache. He was thirsty, lips wouldn't move, his throat was like paper.

Something had to be holding him down, preventing movement.

God it hurt.

He didn't want this to hurt.

_The skies began to darken._

"_Dad"_

_He looked about for James, desperate to find his boy._

"_James" he yelled searching in the darkening light._

"_Dean"_

"_Sam?" he whispered._

_The sirens were there whirring and complaining._

_There was blood dripping down the wall in front of him._

_Not a wall. The back of a chair._

_A dark head of hair that was above him and the skin that was coated in blood. He couldn't move. He had to move. God damn it his brother was lying far too still. Had to know. But he couldn't move. Couldn't even tilt his head to see if his dad was as unresponsive. Couldn't form the words that might shake them awake. _

_He switched his gaze to the window on Sammy's side. If he could have he would have jumped in shock. There stood a man, clearly possessed if the eyes where anything to go on. Staring. Just standing and watching._

_Watching the Winchesters die._

_Not all of them though. That was the secret that he kept buried deep. Not all the Winchesters. The last of that line was far from here, probably tucked up in bed._

_Probably cursing his absent father._

_At least he was alive to do so._

_The sirens faded to a beep._

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

His eyelids were so heavy.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

His body was screaming with dull agony. Fresh waves that throbbed all the way form head to toe.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Sam. He tried so desperately to form the words, to know if his brother was there. He had to tell him. To tell him that he l worded him.

To tell him that he needed to leave now, because if he was dying then someone needed to keep an eye on his boy.

Someone that he could count on.

And that might keep Sam from their fathers path, that destructive vengeful I don't give a crap about anything else path.

Might.

So he had to wake up, cause if he didn't then his brother would fall and his son could follow.

He had to wake up.

But god it hurt.

That bitch of a demon was gonna pay for this.

If he could…sit up.

Wake up.

Quicken his heart beat.

Flick a finger.

Nothing.

Wake up.

Wake up.

There he twitched an eye lid. Flickered his nose . Swallowed.

He managed to part his lips, to take in a deep breath that hurt his raw throat.

Swallowed again. Made some noise that sounded like a gasp and a sigh rolled into one. Managed to tilt his head to the side.

Holy crap that hurt, burning fire shot up his neck and felt so utterly wrong that for a second he was deluded into believing that he had just broken his own neck.

He nearly sunk under that. Nearly buried himself from that fire. But he'd done this once before. Done it years ago. Ignored what that fire had done, buried part of himself.

And he'd survived.

He'd done it once, he would do it again

He could do it.

He damn well would.

Fury roared through him. If that little bitch actually succeeded in killing his father, his brother, hunting out those kids that were psychic wonders. Found about his boy…

The idea of that killed him. That was what would do him in. if he failed. He was Dean Winchester. Nothing hurt him. He was superman, smart ass and Don Juan rolled into one.

The hell if this would slow him down. More to the point Dean Winchester simply did not loose. Be it at pool or a fight.

"Sam"

There that was his voice. A little cracked true but hell it was his voice. At this point he'd take whatever he could get.

There was a fury of movement from all directions, none that he could make out but he knew that it was happening beyond his heavy lids and dark world.

He knew that something was happening

"Dean? Can you hear me? Squeeze my finger"

For craps sakes, he'd just spoken out loud what more did the kid want, a flippin' foghorn?

Ok squeezing the finger.

Dimly he could hear the words _come on come on_. Sam was chanting like a cheerleader, he grinned mentally at that image.

Where was Dad?

"D…da…" he grimaced. This was irritating. Beyond words. The thought nearly made him giggle again.

"Dad?…he's fine Dean, he's alive"

…and not here? Huh, couldn't stick around. Pressing issues of some sort.

Some excuse.

Some excuse.

"Hey son I couldn't stay, had a demon to hunt."

Hell wasn't that basically his line the last time he'd seen James.

Minus the demon thing. The kid really didn't need to know that one.

"Sorry"

Sorry? He managed to get that out but not squeeze a finger. Oh this was fantastic. Body wasn't even listening to the mind.

Possession? Was this how it felt like? Was this what Dad had felt like? When he had….

Squeeze that goddamned finger. The voice sounded familiar. Dad in marine mode.

Squeeze that finger now.

He became more aware, could feel the pressure against his palm and the inside of his fingers. Knew it was the hand that he was so familiar with. The same hand he'd grasped when the kid had taken unsteady steps, knocked himself out during training. Screamed with those nightmares.

Squeeze.

Like Sammy had done when he'd been a few weeks old. All eyes that kid. Laid in Dean's lap with a pillow to support the precious weight and the blond haired angel hovering around watching her boys to make sure both were all right.

Baby Sammy had squeezed his finger. Hard. Dean remembered being so excited his brother would be strong, be able to play soon. Toss the ball around with him and daddy.

Squeeze

The baby was replaced with another but one that was no less beloved. Solemn expression, considering of the father that had been gone those fist five months. A small smile forming, the squeeze of the finger.

It had melted his heart, the way James had simply settled into his arms, relaxed. Looked so utterly safe and content.

It was all that he'd wanted to give him.

It was what he would give him.

"I wish I had that kind of innocence"

He'd failed Sam, was still failing Sam and he was stepping down that road with James.

Squeeze that hand.

The muscles slowly responded, tightened around the warmth that rested in his palm.

"Dean?"

He could squeeze a hand. The idea that it was such a cause for delight was pathetic. He couldn't give a damn. He could squeeze his little brother's finger.

"Dean open your eyes"

Jesus how demanding was he? Open your eyes. Ridiculously simple yet equally ridiculously hard. There was an itchy feeling on his eyes, a feeling like they'd been super glued together. There was a flicker of white. Hospital. Great, that explained the beeping. He hated the beeping. The last time he'd hear that it had been measuring his failing heart.

Though setting off electricity whilst standing in mini pool of water had not been the smartest idea.

Someone else had died for that recklessness, that stupidity.

Someone had died for him and he was not letting that go to waste. Someone had died for him and yet another person had not been given that chance to live, reaper or no.

Open your goddamn eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : I own nothing that you recognise

The AN's (which I just found out is Authors notes btw!) is at the bottom. So if you hate rambling I'd ignore it

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Sam looked like crap.

He vaguely considered telling him this but decided against it, he had a feeling that it wouldn't come out anyway. Instead he decided to wince at the brightness of the room.

"Mr Winchester"

No. That he winced at that. Winchester. Sam was dead.

How the hell do you get a doctor to treat someone who was declared dead a year ago?

Damn skin walker.

Unless…

"Mr Winchester"

He tried to focus bleary eyes on the dark haired doctor in front of him, the one standing with a slightly shocked expression on his face.

Great. Just great. What had happened this time and how quick could they get out of town?

The doctors fussed and barked questions. Nurses mothered him and he began to wish that he'd stayed unconscious.

He was slightly panicked at the idea that he could barely move. Terrified at the idea that the doctors seemed to be delighted by the flickers of movement that he'd already made. What the hell had happened?

Other than the rivers of blood splashing down his chest.

Metal screaming…

Metal…bright lights…crash.

He blinked bringing himself back to the present. The doctors were fading over him, garbling some nonsense that belonged in ER. Usually he would be all ears but he couldn't seem to focus on anything.

He concentrated on Sammy, focusing on the jerking movements that he was making. The way he talked and argued with the doctors. Something wasn't right. Sam wasn't like that.

He snorted at the thought. Sam was becoming more "like that" everyday that he spent on the hunt. Was he ruining his little brother? But the idea of Sammy leaving…

He blinked away the fogginess that engulfed his vision not wanting to linger on the reason for sudden bleariness. He stared, concentrating on Sam, his brother looked…worn out and in shock.

Sam called it shocky, he remembered that. Shocky. The first time he'd been injured on a hunt, he and his father had returned. Sam had hovered around them. A lesson as always. This time how to wrap up the arm of someone who couldn't duck in time. Dad had said that Sam had to leave his brother alone, Dean might be in shock from blood loss.

And the eight year old had said "Shocky?"

It snapped Dean out of his blank stare to turn his attention to Sam with a look that promised merciless teasing.

So he focused.

"Sam"

It took a second for Sam to respond. For a while he just seemed to stare. Then Sam swallowed and seemed to relax ever so slightly.

"What…what is it" Sam asked leaning over, eyes sparkling just a bit too much for Dean's liking. If that boy started to cry he'd kick his arse…

…soon as he could stand up.

"Man it is good to see you awake" Sam began.

Dean felt like banging his head against his pillow.

"My Car?" there now that sounded a bit more like his normal self.

There was a pause.

"What?" Sam asked with a hint of disbelief

"If…if you've scratched that car…so help me…" Dean swore inwardly as his voice protested at the use.

Sam glanced around looking slightly lost "It's…it's a wreak Dean"

Dean clicked his tongue, unable to make any other movement to signal his…annoyance? Irritation?

Sadness?

"You really better hope I don't die" Dean murmured.

Sam made a chocked noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob and a laugh.

"Dean your in a hospital bed, waking up when…and your telling me off for wreaking the car?"

Dean shot him a look that he really hoped told Sam he was deadly serious about this.

Sam glanced at the doctors then back at Dean, there was a hint of delight in his eyes now. Good, better than that previous emotion.

"How do you feel?" Sam asked then leant back as Dean was allowed some water for his parched throat.

That felt so much better.

Dean gave his brother a considering look. "been better" he said with a shrug, or rather what should have been a shrug but was instead a brief tightening of shoulder muscles that could barely be seen.

Sam had locked his gaze with Dean's, searching for something that he desperately needed. Dean let him, was hardly in a position to stop it, but dragged his gaze away from his brother to the doctor that was scribbling something down on his chart.

"So tell me doc, am I gonna live?"

"Dean" Sam protested.

"Mr Winchester you seem…fine" there was an air of utter disbelief that sounded wrong.

Dean suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and nodded "Yeah…I can't move. I'm no expert but that's not fine".

"You have been in a coma for a year Mr Winchester".

"What?" Dean croaked twisting his head to stare at Sam, pinching his lips against the screaming pain the movement caused.

"Dean…" Sam began. But there was no denial in his face, no shock at the doctor's words, no confusion. Only sadness and relief. And worry.

God it couldn't be true. A coma. For a year

"_You've been unreachable for a year"_

James.

Dean froze. That had better of been an accurate dream or his doing.

No…if it was his then the demon might have found out about…

…or James had been the one to initiate it.

" _You've been unreachable for a year"_

What if his boy was like Sam?

No.

Dad had said that the demon had come when Sam was six months old. Connection to the Winchesters or not James and his mother would have been attacked.

But the demon attacked families.

For a second something bugged him but he shrugged it off. He'd give the whole thing a lot more consideration. Preferably in the Imp…in a car of some description.

And, more to the point when Sam stopped looking at him as though he were about to burst into tears.

That had to be nipped in the bud now.

Soon as he could talk properly and he guilted Sam into grovelling about the Car. Enough to make sure that there was no wosy car to replace the Impala anyway.

Wait.

A year?

Suddenly that hit him like a thunder bolt. A year. A whole bloody year.

What the hell did doctors get paid for these days?

A coma for a year? No wonder he could barely move. Atrophy had probably set in months ago.

Blew the idea of skipping town straight to hell.

The colt?

Dean had a sudden flash of what had to be memory. Black eyes, the colour of pitch staring into the car. The truck driver, the possessed truck driver.

The Colt, they would have taken it.

Wouldn't they?

Of course the bloody would.

But then why leave the Winchesters alive.

Especially if the demon was murdering those who "Interfered" with the demons plans for Sammy. Why not kill him and his father. Sam would have nothing.

_He's not you_.

Dean flinched at the thought and buried it.

Sam would have nothing holding him back from revenge, no-one to depend on. A demon whose _minions? Kids?_ Could possess anyone wouldn't find it hard to influence Sam. In ways that Dean refused to think about.

So why were they alive?

There had been a gap, hadn't there? Between getting lying on the floor listening to Dad's disappointed cries and being in the car.

"Did you scratch my car?" Dean got out

Sam gave him a worried look and glanced at the doctor before replying

"Dean I just told you…"

Moron. He really needed those lessons

"Before" Dean gritted out

Comprehension lit his brother's eyes before a vaguely apologetic look replaced it.

"Yeah…but" the puppy dog eyes glanced at the medical staff "there were more important things to consider"

"_I thought you understood, killing this demon its more important than me, than anything"_

"_No sir. Not everything"_

Dean relaxed on the pillow ignoring the feeling that threatened. The doc seemed in no hurry to leave and he could tell that Sam wanted to talk about something. The Colt perhaps or about Dad. Something that really couldn't be said in front of the average American

"Could I speak to my brother alone" Sam asked

"We need to run a few more tests"

Sam looked irritated. Dean bit back a chuckle. The mild mannered little brother, the one with the long temper in all things not John Winchester, looked as though he was considering throwing everyone that was in the room out.

"We in the hospital that was ten minutes away?" Dean asked, relieved that talking was starting to get easier.

Sam looked a bit surprised "You…you remember that. I thought that you were out of it?"

"Well I was but I ain't had anything better to recall in the past year" Dean quipped. There Dean Winchester was back and ready to eventually get out of bed in the next month.

The irritated look appeared in Sam's eyes and he glanced over at the doctors, clearly wanting them to get a move on.

Damn

If Dean could have he'd of been out of that room quicker than Greece lightning. If Sammy had some deluded belief that they needed to talk about that night he was wrong. In fact if any other words relating to talking were made Dean would…

…would do what exactly. He couldn't even jam his hands over his ears.

He could hum. Metalica was always good.

Or he could beg the doctors not to leave him alone with his crazy brother.

Or he could pretend that he wanted the conversation when he was fit and ready. That would work. Sam still owed him for wreaking his car.

Bitch.

So that would work. The last thing that Dean was doing was discussing what had been said. No way in hell was that happening. He'd almost rather face that demon again

Though almost was the operative word.

The doctors bowed out of the room, discussing something with delighted voices. Dean watched them go, a little spooked at their enthusiasm. Surely he wasn't the first person in the hospital to come out of a coma.

"Dean"

Ok here it came. He would wait, look a little curious. To jump in would suggest that it was on his mind

And it really wasn't

"We need to get you out of here"

Okay…that was better than most scenarios.

"Yeah Sam in a bit"

"No Dean I mean now"

Dean paused "Dude it may have escaped your notice but I just woke up from a year long coma"

"Of which the past week you've spent brain dead" Sam hissed

Dean blinked "huh?".

Brain dead. For a second he waited for Sam to add to it - "_Brain dead, you know no difference from the rest of the way you've spent your adult years"_

It didn't seem to be coming.

"Dean…you crashed about a week ago. You just…your heart. It stopped. They resuscitated you but…we were waiting for dad to come back to turn off the machine" Sam broke off this time tears definitely threatening

"But….Sam that's not possible" Dean whispered. He twisted to look at his brother easier. "I mean"

"Dean"

"You're the freak of the family dude. I'm"

"Dean"

"What?"

Sam was staring at him "You've been in a coma for a year"

Dean stared at him, seriously wondering about his mental condition "Thank you for that update college boy"

"No. Dean" he pointed at him "Sit up"

Dean blinked. Part of him was so desperate to go back to sleep, to not have to deal with this. If he went back to sleep then there was a possibility that he'd wake up and the worst of his troubles was…

…oh wait saving the freaking day

Groaning mentally he focused back on Sam. The kid looked ill, worried, suspicious. He couldn't tell. It was probably that that scared him. It was like that ride to Jericho, a year…two years ago. Hesitating over what to say, waiting for the word that would cause Sam to snap and go back to that apple pie life.

And there was no way, however selfish it was, that he was letting Sam leave him

"Are we having the same conversation here Sam? I. Have. Been. In. A. Coma"

"Dean you turned over" Sam said quickly as though he couldn't hold it back any loner, watching him like he would explode any second now

Dean froze and looked down at his shoulder. Freezing all thought he attempted to sit up

And did

He glanced at Sam.

"We really need to get out of here" Sam whispered

He hadn't been able to move a second ago. For Christ sakes he'd actually considered staying in a hospital. And now, now he was sitting up with no problem

"What the hell did that son of a bitch do to me?" Dean whispered

Sam shook his head. "We have to leave Dean. Now. We'll go…somewhere but we need to be gone"

Gingerly Dean swung himself around and touched the floor with his bare toe. It was cold and refreshing.

And so totally wrong

Sam began to dig around in his bag for clothes.

Dean reached to his chest

"Don't"

Dean froze at Sammy's tone and dimly obeyed the warning.

Not here, not now. Whatever was going on, whatever was happening to him it could wait. Wait until they could look at it all properly. Figure out what had happened. Just like he'd had to act like his little brother throwing chests across a room was no big deal, he had to do the same here. Sam needed him and he was hugely grateful for the distraction.

Wait

Suddenly Dean began to pat his chest though he knew, somewhere that it was useless.

"Dean I'm serious. Stop it."

"Sammy where is it?"

"What?"

"My chain"

"What the necklace"

"It's not a necklace dude"

Sam shook his head and tossed him some jeans and a tee. "Probably in your possessions box"

"And Dad let them?"

Sam opened his mouth then clearly decided against it

"Dean we don't have time for this"

"Screw that Sam I need"

"Dean whatever that was, if it was important then I'm sure Dad took it. Took everything useful" the last was said with a hint of bitterness.

Dean swallowed down the shot of fear and forced himself to think clearly. Too much was happening

You died

Your son might be part of the Winchester curse

You might be part of the Winchester Curse

Sam had forfeited revenge and seeking their dad

Dad had gone and had not given up on his crusade.

Theamulet had gone.

Demon out there

Impala was gone

And the threat of a chick flick moment loomed in the distance. Still far down the list but it was there.

Life sucked.

And they still had to walk out of the hospital in broad daylight

A.N

Ok I'm not sure that I am totally happy with this chapter. It feels a little bit rushed but I've fiddled with it over and over so this is as good as its gonna get I'm afraid. Plus I was actually asked for updates so, what you gonna do?

And I got reviewwws. (Picture squealing voice with that). This is my first fiction so thank you for reviewing. Though it did take me about half an hour to figure out how to see the reviews (I'm not the brightest!)

So thank you to SupernaturalSweetheart who was my first reviewer. I feel like I should give you a prize or something. I know there wasn't much of James in this but he is coming soon! And as for the mother well it isn't Cassie if that's what your asking. My own original character. Not Cassie I mean the mother. Of James.

And thank you also to TangleofPencils (cool name!) and PowrRangrFreeek (whose name is really irritating to type; I keep wanting to add es!

Next chapter is coming soon (I sound like a really bad movie ad) probably next friday

Review please. (sweet smile)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise

A/N (this is long so if you don't care please skip down. There is a chapter somewhere)

I know it's a funny Friday isn't it, sorry for the delay but crazy week. Not in a good way either. Anyway writing sam is much harder than dean. However I sort of needed his Pov. This will seem like a slightly pointless chappy and maybe a little silly but I didn't want sam immediately accepting however I don't want to linger on them being unsure with each other. Awkwardness does still ensue as they deal with what happened but I needed that trust thing.

Also I haven't watched supernatural for a while (how I'm living I have no idea) and this was kicked out in the middle of the night, so please do not be overly harsh. I will make it up to you. I will watch the programme fourteen times a day, drive my mother insane and the dog madder. If it's possible. The things I do for you people

I like this AN thing. It justifies talking to yourself

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Sam Winchester felt like he was stuck in a dream. A wonderful dream but a dream nonetheless.

Dean was bitching about the fact that he'd left without his tapes.

It was so utterly Dean and it was irritating the crap out of him.

Sam focused all his attention on the road trying to tune his brother out. Every so often he would glance in the mirror to check that they weren't been followed. Police, FBI…

Demons.

Dean had stopped now, seeming to sink into his own thoughts, either to collect himself or because he sensed that talking was doing nothing for Sam.

Dean had been dead.

Sam had switched of that machine the second that Dean had twitched.

He had nearly killed his brother.

He hadn't believed it at first. Dean calling his name. Thought it was some cruel vision, offered from the demon as a form of torture.

Then the doctors had gasped and ran over.

_Sorry?_

What the hell had Dean meant by that? He couldn't even bring himself to ask. Was still half unsure that this was really his brother and not the demon.

What else could he do though? Either way he couldn't…not again. If there was a chance that this was Dean; that he could get Dean back he was gonna take it.

And if it was Dean?

Sam had known the second that they'd called him at work that it wouldn't be good news. The doctors had told them to expect the worst. Dean was a fighter but the damage sustained…it was a miracle he had been alive before the crash, let alone awake and arguing for Sam's soul.

He couldn't leave his big brother. No chance. Dad had stuck around, then found it unbearable. He couldn't stand that the last time he had talked to Dean it was to scar him both emotionally and physically to the point that it was unlikely that he would recover.

But while John couldn't bare to stay Sam couldn't leave. Not when there had been a chance. For six months he had researched. Six months and there had been nothing that was not dark. Dean would likely kill him for it. He hadn't cared

Dad had come back. Even made it to the hospital in an attempt to check on Dean. Hadn't got past the reception. He had refused to help Sam. There was no guarantee it would work and Dean would never thank them. If Sam suffered then Dean would never forgive himself

_There are worst things than death Sam_

The news though expected had ripped him. To the point that he could feel what Dean had that night. Dad had been off, hunting the demon with a vengeance, already labelling Dean as dead. When Sam phoned to break the news John had simply hung up.

They hadn't spoken since.

So Sam had prepared himself for it, hating that his father was so weak that he had to face it alone. Sam had convinced himself that Dean was dead

Began to mourn him.

Then Dean woke up and lectured him for ruining the Impala.

Surreal? Odd? Plain Weird?

The words didn't quite cover it.

"So where's Dad then" Dean's voice rung out

Sam glanced at him briefly then back at the road

"He's tracking the demon again" Sam said in a tight voice. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dean nod thoughtfully

Accepting that his father had simply walked away, and it boiled Sam's blood.

"It doesn't bother you Dean? He snapped with some disbelief.

"What doesn't bother me?" Dean said with some confusion.

"That he left us. That he…" he broke of unsure how much he wanted to shake Dean's faith in their father.

Comprehension dawned in Dean's eyes and an irritated look gleamed in his eyes. "Leave it Sammy" Dean said quietly

Sam let out an irritated breath that sounded almost like a laugh "Leave it Dean? He left us. He was angry at me for months for not shooting him. He couldn't even work up the guts to come back and see you, and your telling me to leave it?"

"Dude, chill alright. Maybe Dad was trying to lead the demon away from us huh, ever think of that?"

Sam shook his head in disbelief and tried to focus on the road. He glanced at Dean out of the corner of his eye.

"You ok?"

Dean seemed to stiffen for a few seconds "I'm fine"

"Dean you have to be careful. Whatever happened, however your…it could" he broke off at the look that Dean was giving him.

"I'm just saying" Sam said trying to ignore the look.

"Yeah well. Don't" Dean said harshly.

There was a long silence, the only sound the radio blaring out.

"So where're are we going?" Dean asked after a while.

Sam shook his head "Man I have no idea"

Dean gave him an amused look "Terrific"

Sam broke into a grin "Jerk"

"Bitch"

Sam shook his head. Feeling part of him start to relax. It had been almost three months since he had conversations that were so weird he nearly laughed at having them. It was strange how quickly you could ease back into it

"Sammy"

"Yeah?" Sam ignored that slight glow at that nickname. And the faint irritation that was already building

"Why haven't you checked?"

Sam tightened his jaw "Checked what?"

"Checked if I'm possessed" Dean said as though he were telling Sam they needed to pick up some M&Ms for lunch

Sam twitched slightly at that

"Dean"

"No" Dean suddenly seemed to turn into Older Brother mode. "Check"

Sam snorted "What do you want me to do Dean. Holy water doesn't work, we saw that with Dad"

"That's The demon. If Dad thought that demon was around us he'd be here quicker than you could blink. Now chuck it on me you pussy"

Sam glared at him "No"

"Do it"

"No"

"For Gods sake Sammy just do it" Dean said hitting his arm

"Dean stop it I'm driving" Sam said part furious, part amazed.

Part amused

"Fine I'll do it myself"

Sam rolled his eyes at that. Stubborn moron. Strange how he'd forgotten what a tenacious git his brother could be.

That thought alone made him uncomfortable.

He tried to split his attention between the road and Dean twisting in his seat, getting undoing the seatbelt and leaning over the back to rummage around in the bag that Sam had dumped in the car, on their brief stop at the apartment.

"Where is it?" Dean demanded hunting through the pockets

"Dean would you get back here"

"Tell me where it is"

Sam let out a huff "Dean stop it we're gonna get pulled over"

"Then stop being such a jackass and tell me where it is"

"You know Dean I think this may prove that you're not possessed. Get back in the front, all I can see is your arse"

"Ah Sammy your just jealous."

"Dean your freakin' insane"

"Then tell me where it is"

"Where's what?" Sam said finally giving in

"The holy water" Dean said as though Sam had lost his mind

Sam hesitated and hissed slightly

"Oh no" Dean's voice sailed to his ears

"Dean"

His brother plonked himself back in his seat. "You don't have any holy water? Sammy are _you_ insane?"

"I told you Dad took everything" Sam said trying to stay calm

"As in everything?" Dean asked his voice cracking with horror

"I didn't think I'd need it"

Dean shook his head "Dude…how do you manage to get up in the morning?"

Sam glared at him.

Dean stared incredulous "Do we have anything at all?"

Sam tilted his head briefly to the side "We got the car"

"The car?" Dean said with disbelief

"And some books"

"Oh that's fantastic Sammy. Lets hope when the Demon comes he listens to you read him a story while I run him over"

"It's Bobby's book"

"I don't believe you at times" Dan huffed looking out the passenger window

"You wreck my car, you got this pile of junk, and to top it off we're a walking target. Please come get us, we want you to come. Life's too boring at the moment"

"Dean"

"What?" Dean snapped

"Never mind" Sam muttered pulling an annoyed face

"Oh that's real mature"

Sam shook his head, biting back the reply.

"Christo" he hissed

"Dude" Dean yelled

"What you wanted me to check" Sam once again forced to switch his attention between the road and Dean "And for all I know that could just be your way of covering up a flinch"

Dean sat back in the seat muttering something under his breath.

Sam glared at the road, when something suddenly occurred to him. He reached behind him to feel out the map that was on the back seat. Pulling it forward he glanced at the folded page that showed the area he was driving through.

Five minutes later they were parked.

"Just stay here all right, I need to talk to someone"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean threw his head back against the seat.

Well aren't we in a pickle?

He tapped a finger on the dashboard. He needed to head towards James. For all he knew they could be going in a different direction. He could of course just leave. But he needed…

He threw a longing glance at the back of the car. Sam had to be kidding. No weapons? What was the kid insane? A book and a car. That was fantastic if the Demon would just give them a heads up before it arrived.

He was trying to work out just how to break the news to Sam

Er want to swing around and say hi to your nephew?

Oh by the way, the kid could be following in your directions. So please take the person who may be possessed to the next generation of psychic boys.

Yeah that might not work so well.

So, how to convince Sammy that he wasn't possessed?

No salt, no holy water,It took ridiculous amounts of time to draw the symbols for proof. Christo could be covered up…

Oh. He could say it.

He heard the sound of footsteps and saw Sammy approaching.

Dean leapt out the car.

"Dude I got it I can say"

Sam threw a bucket of water straight over him, utterly drenching him.

Dean stood there, dripping for a few seconds "Christo"

Sam blinked "Huh, didn't think of that"

Dean stared in disbelief at his little brother. Soaked.

"Well at least we're really sure now" Sam said sounding not at all apologetic, a small grin creeping onto his face "I mean that was holy water so…"

Dean said nothing but stared at him murderously.

"And at least you've finally had a proper shower" Sam said the smile growing

Dean nodded "Get in the car Sam" he growled out

"You wanna find a motel in a bit"

Dean stared at his brother

Sam nodded "I'll find us a motel"

Dean didn't say anything.

"Keep this up and I'll start to think your possessed again" Sam said as he pulled out.

"If you drench me in water again I swear I'll kill you" Dean said sounding utterly serious.

Sam nodded "There isn't that better. Besides technically you told me to do it"

Dean looked at him "You are so dead"

Sam nodded "I know"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AN (again!)

I have no idea where the idea came from. I swear I had no idea it would come out like this. I actually thought I'd get to them being at the motel and some questions my reviewers (squeaks with delight) asked. Sadly it wasn't the case and, as I have forgotten to bring back my lap top charger the next chapter will have to be rewritten on my mum's computer. So it will not be appearing tonight!

Next Chapter should show have a flash back to what happened immediately after the crash. Hopefully

Fingers crossed

Thank you to all my reviewers. I can't believe how many I got. I probably should do that reply to reviews thing but um I'm not the best with the internet and I have this thing that I might break it. And I warn you now, run and hide. I'm hyped up. On booze cause I can by it now. Not that I drink whilst writing. Only when refining. And apparently this is refining. I should so stop typing. Any second now

I have braved my fear of destroying the internet and done reader reviews. However I babble. So I tried to limit myself to the long reviews. I'm assuming not everyone wants pages of writing about total crap!

So just a quick note to those probably feeling relieved right now!

Thanks to (here we go) PowrRangrFreeek (eer that's so errr) for another review.

To Toyatezuka (ohh another name that I have to concentrate to write. Where do you people get these things!) thank you very much. I am unique! Yay. Though in my mood that's probably a good thing for the universe!

And to ChaiGrl I just did a reviewer response, and apparently I forgot I could press the back space and not torture you with ramblings. I am so sorry!

Thanks to NateandJake for the compliments. I don't think this was that enlightening. It's my sneaky way of keeping my reviewers!

If you got past all of that have a shinny star because you really deserve it. And since I gave you a star please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise

A/N

Huh I couldn't seem to find a break in this one so it's a very long chapter!

Like you lot care!

Oh and it hops around a bit.

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Chapter Four

Sam was feeling decidedly lucky. He wasn't sure which was the biggest miracle; Dean alive, un possessed and fighting fit. Or the fact that so far Sam still hadn't been killed for his earlier stunt

He sat flipping through the heavy old bastard of a book that had belonged to their father's friend. He looked up as the room was suddenly illuminated, and then fell back into darkness.

Just headlights he calmed himself.

He took a deep breath and glanced to the bed opposite where the hulk of his brother lay, crashing out after his shower.

Like he needed the bed rest.

Sam drummed his fingers on Bobby's book. He had scoured the thing for some clue, some hint to Deans miraculous recovery. Yet the ability to act as though demon attack, car crash and flat-lining where minor inconveniences seemed to have sprung about the way Sam's visions had

Out of the blue and with even less explanation

Sam closed his eyes, trying to picture them as kids. Had Dean possessed any hint of this kind of power before or was it something new?

Or was it from another source?

Was Dean keeping anything from him?

Sam snorted. Dean kept a lot of things to himself. In fact the two talks they'd had before…that night were probably the deepest that they'd ever had in regards to Dean's feelings. But he had a feeling that Dean would have mentioned something like this. Especially after ribbing him about the whole shinning thing.

Sam looked up sharply when there was a pause in the rhythmic snoring. He froze, mentally counting, too terrified to move for a few seconds. Just as he shook himself out of it and started forward another snore resonated through the room.

Sam let out a shaky laugh, berating himself for being overly paranoid and yet still not letting his eyes fall from Dean's peaceful face. He kept waiting, for something to go wrong

Cause lets face it nothing ever went this right.

It suddenly occurred to him that Dad was still unaware that there had been a change in status. Part of him wanted to let Dad find out for himself, find out that Dean had woken up and his precious hero hadn't been there.

Yet part of him glanced at that phone, desperate to call. To have an explanation, to be reassured that it would all be alright. That Dean wouldn't suddenly drop down in front of him.

Sam paced suddenly, torn between terror and fury. He couldn't shake the sight of Dean in that hospital bed, tubes jabbing out of him, machines filtering every last body function.

His brother dying.

And the guilt he'd felt, the guilt at knowing he'd…

It suddenly resurged and swallowed him up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_A year ago_

A flash lit up the space behind his closed lids. A strange feeling was in the pit of his stomach. He felt sticky and ginger. As though one movement could shatter something.

His neck was in the weirdest position. Dean had probably let him fall asleep like this for arguing with…

Dad

Sam's eyes flew open and he was puzzled at the one sided blurred vision. He moved his left hand up to his eye

Or tried to

It was like someone had lit a fire work in his nerves. Shooting agony sprang up and licked its way from finger, to palm, to wrist to shoulder

From one movement.

He gasped but couldn't suck in any more air to do much more than that. His throat was filled with a coppery taste and felt stuck.

Blood.

He tried moving his other hand. This time a pumping spike hit from his elbow and shoulder area.

He sat there, gasping in pain for a while. He couldn't see Dad properly and the mirror was out of his line of sight so checking on Dean was impossible.

He panicked slightly remembering that Dean hadn't had a seatbelt on at the time, and at the fact that the huge light had hit Dad's side.

There was a noise, like the crunch of footsteps.

Thank God.

Sam blinked, voice refusing to obey him.

It took him a while to realise that the footsteps were running away from the sight.

He didn't realise until he looked around that he had sunk back into unconsciousness. The sky in the distance was turning rosey.

Red in the morning Shepherds warning. He remembered that saying from somewhere.

From where he was locked in position Sam could just see his phone resting in one of the compartments. It was about three inches up and across from his right hand.

He winced as his hand crept over to the phone. He knew it would have been better to move fast but his body seemed to have forgotten exactly how to do that. Moving his hand was suddenly the hardest thing he'd done in his life.

He was lucky that his first and only attempt got the phone in his hand after what felt like hours. His thumb passed over the buttons easily. Must be one of the only things that didn't hurt. He pressed.

9

He had to get Dean and Dad to a hospital. Both had been injured before this, god how many people actually survived this kind of accident in normal circumstances.

A car crash to finish of the grand Winchester Men.

1

They needed help as soon as possible. Sam was so close to passing out.

He could nearly hear Deans voice _You Girl_

Dean was in the back….

Oh God the weapons in the trunk.

A tear streaked down his face. The colt. It would be taken and so would his revenge.

But if he didn't…

He pressed cancel and dialled a number he only dimly remembered.

Bobby

He could hear the gruff voice answer it, demanding to know what was going on. Felt frustration rise when he still couldn't reply, paralysed by pain as he seemed to be.

He tried pressing some buttons getting only beeps.

The buttons were getting blurry.

"Hospital" he ground out hoping that one of the random pressings had put the thing on speaker phone.

"Sam?" the old mans voice sounded.

"The Cabin…to hospital" Sam managed to ground out feeling as though he might throw up any second.

"Sam? Is Dean there?"

"Crash"

"Sam"

And the world exploded in black agony.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_You're selfish you know that? All you care about is revenge_

Sam jammed his hands in his pockets. Wanting desperately to drown out the noise of his brothers accusing voice.

Dean, Dad, hell even he'd been bleeding severely. And Sam, hadn't called the ambulance. No. He'd called a man who'd arrived at the scene an hour later.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Flashing lights Red, white blue. Red white Blue.

It was a comfortable pattern.

Fingers prodded at him. hand was poking around and Sam had a strange feeling that he should check who was doing this.

But unconsciousness beckoned.

He'd woken in a dimmed room in a hell of a lot less pain. Probably had something to do with the IV drip poking out of his arm.

"Sam?" a hoarse voice had asked.

"Bobby?" Sam asked.

The old man came forward giving Sam a searching look.

"Where's Dean?"

"He's in surgery. So's your Daddy"

Sam would have nodded but the stab of pain convinced him it wouldn't be the best idea.

"Did you get everything?" he asked after a while, not wanting to dwell on the possibility…

Bobby nodded.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A Stranger had done what he should have done.

Protected his family.

And it had been partly his fault. It had been all his fault. His Mum, Jess.

And now Dean.

Sometimes he felt as though he could die from the pain that idea caused.

Watching

It seemed he'd watched all the people that he'd loved die. But Dean, no matter how much he loved Jess had been the worst.

Watching

Waiting

Wondering

Because it had been over and done with when Jess had died. Whatever mistakes he'd made he couldn't do anything but revenge.

But Dean…that hadn't been his brother in that hospital bed

Dying

_Doctors say there's nothing they can do. But they don't know the things we do_

_Right?_

Sam flinched at the memory of his own voice and tried to hold onto the fury he'd felt at not getting a reply from his Dad. For not having another person there, to lean on, top be strong for.

To be there

Both times

But he couldn't hold it

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam walked in on his father sitting by his brothers bed, hands steepled together under his chin, staring at Dean as though he were some great puzzle that had to be figured out.

Sam was silent for a moment, knowing that his father would have heard him come in. for a second he hoped that seeing Dean so wrongly helpless would make him change his mind about leaving.

That hope crashed and burned when his Dad stood and placed a rough kiss on his eldest's forehead.

"Your taking off"

Sam was stunned at his own voice. It was no longer harsh and demanding but weary and accepting.

"Sammy" Dad began, but then seemed to falter as though utterly lost.

Sam watched his father. They both had yellow bruises, fadings from the wounds they'd received weeks ago. John was still in a strap at his leg, though it should be coming off soon. The man looked…old. No longer Dean's invincible hero.

Just like the person on the hospital bed no longer resembled Sam's.

"Go" Sam said tonelessly

John seemed to hesitate "You'll stay here?"

Sam smiled, utterly without humour and stared at a spot behind his Dad's head "Yep"

"You won't follow me. Come after this demon"

_Your selfish you know that. All you care about is revenge_

Sam tightened his mouth against that, determined not to start on his father. Not to shout, not to cry, not to scream in outrage. Dean hated it when they fought. What if Dean were waking up, heard them going at it and decided to drift back into that world of unconsciousness?

"You'll keep in touch" Sam asked in that same odd voice

"Sammy I want your promise" John insisted.

"I swear that I will not leave my brother to either die or wake up by himself Dad" Sam spat that last word out.

John stiffened and stared at Sam in something akin to shock and horror. "You really think I won't come back to check on him"

"Will you?" Sam said finally focussing on John "You didn't last time"

John shook his head.

"I phoned you. I was practically begging you to help. I had no idea what to do and you just….**you did nothing**" Sam yelled, suddenly disliking that John was between him and the man on the bed

John's lips pinched together and he turned his gaze to Dean.

"Did you just assume that he'd get better? Or was it that you just didn't care?" Sam hissed, a small part of him terrified that this heated…this argument would push Dean over the edge

Yet part of him not caring. Because Dean was leaving him, had left him.

And now Dad was going the same.

John made a jolted movement with his hand as though he was sorely tempted to hit his youngest.

God knows what stopped him.

"You think…" John shook his head "You think that I just left him, that I…that I didn't…"

"Well yeah Dad it seems that way" Sam said starring accusingly at his Dad.

_You and Dad are a lot alike_

God he needed to get that voice out of his head.

John stared at him for an long time, then closed his eyes.

"What the great John Winchester has nothing to say?" Sam asked, sarcasm dripping form his voice. He shook his head with contempt as his father shambled towards the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam tightened his mouth remembering the last time he'd spoken to his father in person. Yet the parting look that he'd given his father had not been one of hatred.

It had been of shock.

"_I knew it was a reaper"_

Sam's gaze fell on the phone and he picked it up. For a few seconds he let his finger linger on the select names option.

And he stayed that way until Dean woke up a few hours after dawn.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John Winchester stood over a map, pouring over it like it was the path to the holy grail.

In some ways it was.

He flickered his eyes to the clock, mentally calculating how long it would take him to make his move and then return to the group

It still felt odd to have so many to work with.

The small group of no more than ten. John hadn't bothered to take count or names.

And didn't bother that that alone didn't bother him.

Some were old acquaintances, some he'd vaguely heard mentioned.

Some were new, the youngest though was about a year or two older than…

A phone buzzed on the table in front of him. Glancing at the number he lifted it to his ear.

"Yes"

It never paid to announce yourself. He strained to hear through the static. And found himself wishing to everything that he hadn't.

"John…just passing…a Mr Sanderson has checked into a motel several"

John didn't register the words after that. The world suddenly spun and slowed at the same time.

Sam had left Dean.

That could only mean…His boy…his beautiful strong boy was…

He disconnected the call without a word.

And the map, the world blurred awkwardly.

He felt both paralysed and shocked. Shocked somehow at his surprise. He'd known. The doctors they'd explained it.

They'd said…

And God as much as he had wanted to scream that they were lying he'd known. Both Dean and him had known the second their eyes connected in that cabin.

Sam…he hadn't been part of it. Hadn't felt what that bastard son of a bitch was doing. Hadn't known with the utter certainty that John still prayed he hadn't known.

Dean's life would never of been the same again and John hadn't been even able to glance in his eldest direction because of it. To see the life that he'd created and destroyed. Heart and Lung problem would dog Dean forever more. His boy who hated the normal and mundane life, who could never sit by and watch things happen. Had to be part of it all.

His quicksilver and his rock.

He'd wished to God that he'd died that day. Because living he'd have to face Dean. Watch all that was Dean fade away.

And know that he'd done it.

Now?…now he wished that he'd crawled over to his boys and held them forever.

If not least because they may have avoided the accident that way.

Because Dean despising him was better than…than this.

To…

He shook his head blinking away tears.

Sam was all that he had left.

The demon would not…could not get him

Sam hated him. He knew it with a surety like he'd known…But the hatred was good. It would keep Sammy away from all this.

The nickname nearly brought him to the floor with the memories and grief it presented.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bobby was loading a shot gun when John Winchester stumbled through the door.

Dean.

It had to be. Surprisingly Bobby couldn't quite get his head around it.

Dean

Dead

He'd thought it near impossible.

He watched John enter another room.

Quietly he took the amulet out of his pocket.

The one that seemed to be missing Dean's neck it had hung there for so long.

Bobby frowned staring ahead. He should tell John, he knew he should but at this moment John was a wreak.

To find out how little his eldest had trusted him may just push him over the edge.

Though he knew Sam was on his way, with certainty.

Asking questions about his brother. No doubt finally working out that although the police weren't after Dean his medical record would have shown him to be dead.

Bobby doubted that John would ever look that closely at his son's hospital admittance, if for no other reason than to avoid dealing with his child's death.

Bobby was still unclear as to what exactly had happened that night.

He'd probably never drag it from any of the Winchesters. Stubborn bunch of folk. John had made those boys damn stubborn.

Though now only one of his boys would ever…

Just as it had been mighty lucky that he'd found out about Dean's, how to put it?

The other identity he'd used.

D Winchester.

The child of Johns brother that had died at four, yet that Dean had mysteriously used about ten years ago. Bluffed, blagged and bought the identity, over turning the death certificate all of which took years to do well.

Probably had something to do with the child who was registered as Daniel Winchesters son.

James Winchester.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N

As I said I feel that there should have been some kind of break but it was either one long, one short chapter of this.

So tough

Next Chapter we see Dean waking up and the way sam is coping with Dean being awake. And a slight argument about their destination

I would give you a date but I'm all over the place at the moment

Oh and I keep getting LMAO. Its sad but at the old age of _eighteen_ I have no idea what that means. Someone please explain it to me. I can't even make a slight guess. Utterly confused

Poor me!

Also I have to go and find a map of America because I have no idea where any of the states are. You people why it can't be based in Britain where more than ten hours in one direction would probably have you in the middle of that big blue ocean I'll never know

err

I have decided to respond to reviews to all because I like to ramble

Probably shouldn't say that. You may all run for the hills

mmm. maybe I'll hold my chapters for ransom!

So review. PPPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise

AN this is…not the most useful chapter to the plot line but it gets it going I suppose.

And just quickly thank you to Tamlyn2. I looked back and saw what you meant. I have added the little stars in the previous chapter. Thanks for pointing it out and the rest of the review!

And I have added those pesky things called full stops and other such punctuation. The whole chapter is a little bitty but I'm not sure how to go about rewriting it so unfortunately it stays. Thank you TangledPencils – sometimes I forget that not every one is in my head and knows one hundred percent what's going on. Though be thankful for small mercy's!.

Next chapter is also up

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Dean opened his eyes to be gifted with the wonderful sight of his little brother's face which hovered barely three inches away.

"Dude what the hell are you doing" he yelped pulling back quickly.

Sam looked uncomfortable, muttered something about breakfast, then disappeared out of the door

All in about 30 seconds flat

Well you had to admire the kids speed

Dean glanced heavenward the allowed himself to collapse back onto the pillow

Little brothers were so weird at times

He reached over and picked up the watch that lay on the bed side table and blinked

11:34

Sammy had let him sleep almost to midday. Was he possessed?

Dean winced at that realising that was not that funny. But still this was Sam, the brother who took a perverse pleasure in making as much noise as unnecessarily possible whenever he had the faintest hint of a hangover. The one who'd drag him up at some godforsaken hour of the morning just to show him some newspaper clipping

Like the thing wouldn't be there a few hours later.

And like he could drive at a decent speed during the day.

And the brother that splashed…God that little bitch was so dead.

His brother letting him sleep in was…

They were weird. They were genetically programmed to be weird and confuse the hell out of the rest of the family.

Or to be overly sensitive

Rolling his eyes he sat up on the side of the bed, blinking as his eyes met the sun that was in no way shape or form hidden from the ugly ass curtains hanging over the window.

Sam sure did pick em.

He stood up and then nearly collapsed again when something like head rush hit him, causing his stomach to bounce around, his head to feel far too heavy and his vision to go terrifyingly grey. Flailing slightly, his hand reached something that he could only assume was the bed post.

"Dean"

He batted his hand in the general direction of Sam's voice in a gesture that he hoped said sod off.

"Dean sit down" the concern in Sam's voice made him grit his teeth in annoyance and the weight on his shoulder of his brother hand trying to guide him back to the bed made it worse.

"Dude I'm fine" he said quickly, harshly yanking himself away from Sam and hoping to God that he would be allowed to keep some pride and not fall on his face.

He stumbled half blind to where he vaguely remembered the table to be. Every motel was basically the same. He may not have been in this one but he knew most of them like the back of his hand.

Thank god that architects had no imagination.

He clung onto the edge of the table for dear life, forced to bend over slightly in the hopes of settling the enormous weight that was his head.

"Dean you have to be careful" Sam's voice sounded somewhere from the left.

He pinched his lips together and opened the eyes he hadn't realised that he'd shut. He had to hold back the sigh of relief when their were vague outlined instead of shooting grey stars.

4 fingers were thrust in front of him "How many" Sam asked voice dangerously suspicious.

Dean flipped his middle finger in that direction "That plus three?" he suggested.

"Jerk" Sam muttered.

"Bitch" Dean whispered softly then straightened up as the world righted itself. The bag of M&Ms caught his eye

"Eat that sandwich first" Sam said moving around behind him.

Dean blinked.

What?

Stunned he turned around to stare at Sam.

Had his little brother just told him what to eat?

And banned him from the M&Ms like a seven year old who couldn't be trusted to eat his veg.

Dean opened his mouth.

"I'm serious Dean. Eat it first?"

"What are you my mother?" he asked wincing as the words left his mouth. Inwardly of course.

"You need to be eating proper food Dean. You've been on a drip for a year".

"So we're agreed on the M&Ms" Dean asked half seriously.

Sam threw down the t-shirt he'd been packing and whirled to face Dean "Dean" he snapped then glanced of to the wall behind Dean. When finally his gaze returned he seemed to have gained some composure "Just please eat it, it won't kill you".

"Apparently nothing does" Dean muttered glaring at the package.

And purposefully missing that look that he knew passed across Sam's face.

With a heavy heart he poked at the wrapped up bread gingerly. He twisted his head, glad that his vision was fully functioning again.

"Tuna" he whined.

"It's uh…good for the brain".

Dean waited for some crack to come. The opened his mouth to prevent it leaving Sam's.

Then snapped it shut.

Oh no. No way in hell was he walking into that one. He was alive, he hadn't had to…

That could be a Dad and Sammy bonding session. When he was far far away. Or blind, deaf and mute, whichever way was the best for avoiding any participation

Maybe he should do both.

And eat that thing on the table before Sam had an overwhelming urge to…talk or something.

He winced at the look of the grey slimy stuff that spewed out of the, oh man, brown bread.

This had better not become a permanent fixation.

Yeah a car crash won't do it but M&M's they'd knock him over the edge.

Dean had a slight, horrifying feeling that anything that they could get from a drive through would be out of the question too.

Like they could afford to be buying namby pamby health stuff.

"You know I was thinking maybe when we're far enough away we should stop off and".

"If the words hustle, pool, beer or chicks are in this next sentence I'm driving you straight to Dad".

Dean raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, a pained expression passing across his face. Bracing himself he took a bite into the sandwich. He screwed up his face.

Salad.

Then frowned.

"So we're not going to Dad" he asked looking around for some miraculous drink to help with the taste.

Preferably the thing on the not to be mentioned list.

Sam paused ever so slightly "No".

Dean nodded "And the reason for that would be?"

"I need to get you somewhere safe"

"Say what".

"And then go tell him everything" Sam continued as though Dean hadn't said anything.

"Whoa whoa whoa back up there you need to get me where?".

Sam winced "Look dad is going to take some convincing that this is not some trick and I can't do that over the phone".

"So I wait in that excuse for a car".

Sam stared at him "Dean, Dad…was convinced you were dead, just not technically".

"And?"

"And now he's just that much more enthusiastic about nailing this thing" Sam said with a twinge of bitterness lacing his voice.

"And?"

Sam threw down the bag "Dad has been travelling around looking for anyone that may have even a faint issue with it. Cannon fodder or whatever, he's raised quite a few angry little soldiers".

"Who will shot on sight even if Dad can't" Dean said with dawning exasperation.

"Something like that" Sam said shaking his head "Eat both pieces Dean".

Dean glanced down at the box where his other…meal (?)...lay.

"How's he been doing it" he asked turning his attention back to Sam.

Sam raised an eyebrow.

Dean rolled his eyes and plucked out the other half of the sandwich, swallowing back the voice that wanted to point out it was the hardly the most healthy thing he could be eating.

God knew what his brother would do with ideas like that.

Sam shrugged "I wasn't exactly speaking to him Dean".

"Because he left" Why, why would he invite Sam to share.

Coma must have addled his brains.

He let out a breath of relief when Sam didn't take up the blazing invitation.

Relief. That's what it was.

"So if we're not going in Dad's direction do you mind if we just…what" he asked slightly concerned at the look on Sam's face.

"Did you just agree that my plan should be used".

"Dude how did you even make it into college? Now".

"I'm sorry, the plan where you stay in one place and I go after Dad. On my own".

"Yeah?"

Sam's mouth dropped slightly "I'm not dropping you in Vegas" he said sounding suspicious.

"Did I ask you to drop me in Vegas?"

"Dean you remember me saying that we have no weapons. I'm not dropping you off on a job."

"Right?"

Sam frowned "I am leaving you behind."

"Not here right?"

"No not here" Sam snapped "But I will drive off on my own. Also with no weapons."

"Except the car."

Sam opened his mouth then stared at Dean as though he were crazy.

"So let me get this straight. You're happy with the plan were I leave you in the middle of somewhere, with little money and trust me no pool table, drive off with no way of protecting myself and deliver myself to our Dad who wants to kill this demon more than life itself, and his trigger happy minions who are very likely close to wherever the demon is?"

Dean was silent "Dude your plan sucks."

Relief crossed Sam's features.

"But I don't want to go in dad's direction quite yet…unless he'd in the same direction."

Sam opened and closed his mouth "Ok…in the same direction as what."

Dean hissed ever so slightly "You not gonna be happy with just dropping me off?"

"NO" Sam said in a tone that brooked no argument.

Dean put down the wrapper of that god awful sandwich and yanked the big bag into his hands.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Give me one example when us splitting up ended well?"

Dean opened his mouth…

…and drew a complete and utter blank

"We're staying together and going in this other direction. And you can explain to me why in the car."

Sam marched out the door.

Dean screwed up his face.

"What the hell just happened?" he asked with utter confusion and lent back against the table to shovel in some of the bright coloured sweets.

Sam marched back in and picked up the other bag without sparing him a glance.

"Did I just convince you?"

"Yep."

He watched his brother march out into the sunlight.

"Huh" Dean muttered and continued to shovel his face and looked down.

"Dude…can I have change of clothes?" he yelled.

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AN – so they're on the road. Not much else that you can say about that one I guess! But at least you know that the ball will be rolling in the next few! And Dean is gonna have to reveal that Sammy has a nephew!

Thankyou to all my reviewers. I'm tuckered out so I won't do reply to review. Internet slow! But I'm a little worried that I seem to have lost some people. Whether it was from revealing I am up at 2:07 in the morning I don't know. If it's got bad could someone tell me what went bad

Oh grammar is so good

WolvieRogue-deansamlvr (I hope that's right) thanks for reviewing twice!

TangledPencils Thank you for going back over it. Frankly I'm interested to see where its going. I have a general idea but then bits keep popping up in my head. Its like my brain has as mind of its own. (odd sentence!)

ChaiGrl – Dean is "up and moving!". Thanks as always for the comments. I to intend to chat to you but damn distance learning course takes up time. Why I want it is beyond me!

RockerDunn – thanks for the explanation. And the other explanation. I feel so clued up!

RavynJensen – I'm going to have to reply by review as it was terrifyingly long!

Purehalo – thanks for the comments. It wasn't overly whiney then!

Review please


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise

Well folks this is it (Huh I sound like bugs bunny) Dean tells Sam. I have a feeling that the pov skips around ever so slightly so sorry if it does but I can't actually pin point the exact bits it starts. And I warn you this does have deep meaningful conversations so Dean might be a bit odd. Cause that's a bit out of character for opur boy.

Um. So yeah. Don't kill me

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They'd been driving for an hour, Dean breaking the silence to point out directions every so often

Which was immediately followed by Sam staring ahead angrily, glance at Dean, demand to know their destination and then glare at the road when there were no answers forthcoming.

Dean banged his head against the head rest and twisted his head slightly to watch Sam

He had a slight feeling that he was not going to get out of this. Sam kind of had to know what was going on before they arrived

He sat up and looked out of the passenger's window. He still wasn't entirely sure that this was the smart thing to do, the safe thing to do. What if he and Sam were being followed? He could be leading the demons and the supernatural crap with him

_Our families are cursed_

Dean shook away Sammy's voice, deep into the recess of his mind.

But if he did bring it all with him…all those years of missing out, they'd all be for nothing.

That too he tried to bury away, all to aware that they were floodgates in his mind that he may not be able to close

But he just couldn't shake that feeling. The one that screamed his boy was in trouble. That the weird dream he'd had just before waking up hadn't simply been a dream but something more.

And if it was?

Dean raised his elbow onto the window and cupped his chin with his fingers, lost in thought staring out at the passing traffic.

Best case scenario was that James was showing some more…unusual habits. Holly knew about the supernatural stuff; her father had been the victim of a spirit nearly fourteen years ago now. Granted she was never what you'd call eager for details about Dean's chosen profession but she'd accepted it and would recognise James wasn't lying or treat him like a complete freak. No Max repeats.

No Sam repeats either.

If that was the case he'd turn up, have his ass blasted to kingdom come for not being in contact for over a year, see James. Check on him and leave before the demon caught wind.

And find that bloody amulet before Dad figured this all out and Dean had a coronary through panic.

Speaking of which, Sam hadn't mentioned Dad while they were driving. Dean had no idea if this meant that they were heading in his direction or not. He had a feeling that Sam was purposefully not telling him because he wouldn't give Sammy directions.

Well it was hardly as if Sam knew exactly where they were going. And he supposed that there was always the possibility that Sam had no idea where their father was.

Knew or cared.

Dean had to hope that if they Dad were there, tracking the demon then he was doing what he did best. There was that comfort that if the demon was within a mile of James Dad would be there.

Unknowingly protecting his grandson.

_Unreachable for a year_

Dean swallowed back that sick feeling that had kicked his gut. Because all signs indicated that James, Winchester or know could be a target. And worse had been trying to contact him for a year. Dad and Sam were recovering in hospital at that time. To backtrack all the demons movements…Dad might have done it but it was unlikely that he'd of tried to help or gone to check on the families. He'd only of tried to find out the demons movements to predict its next.

And as much as Dean knew they weren't the only hunters in the whole world he had a feeling that few would have such a vested interest in this demon.

Nor in the victims.

The only vague comfort that he could take was that James had been able to try and contact him and had been trying for a year. He had to alright then. Not that Dean had any clue how the hell anyone went about trying to telepathically contact someone in their dreams.

Still he'd seen stranger.

And there was always the possibility that he was over-reacting. That ridiculous trait seemed to come with the whole terrifying territory

Dean took a deep breath

"Turn of at the next chance" he said quietly, half hoping that Sam wouldn't hear him. It would mean that this talk, the one he had to have for the sake of his son and brother was not meant to be.

Cause it was the only one he was ever planning on taking part in.

Apart from the one explaining to James that he was not a sort of police slash bounty hunter thing.

And the sex talk, though that was the easy one.

And very possibly the awkward so your alive one with Dad

When the hell had all these potential moments appeared. Dean swallowed and tried to focus on the…dear lord…moment at hand.

"Park anywhere" he said with the same deceptively even voice.

"Dean there's nothing here" Sam's voice pointed out.

"Thank you for that observation college boy, I'm not a total idiot" Dean said, his voice a little harsh.

Sam pinched his lips together with exasperation and shot a look upwards with annoyance. He parked, killed the engine and turned expectantly.

Dean took a deep breath searching for a way to do this.

"Do…you remember 'bout fourteen fifteen years ago Dad did this job. It was this family. We spent it at Pastor Jim's cause the house was only an hour away?"

Sam frowned.

"Uh…it was this spirit, taking out revenge on the descendants. They'd been fighting over some chick and one popped the other one?"

A slight hint of comprehension dawned in Sam's eyes "Yeah, vaguely. But Dean what's th"

"And you were about nine. I used to go out whenever we got dumped there. You used to read and that stuff"

"Yeah actually now…there was that guy, uh, Matthew Winters. He'd been some pool champion years back. Taught you in that shady bar. There was some weird nam…why is this important?"

"We're gonna see his daughter"

Sam blinked "But I thought you and Cassie were you know"

"No we, I…" Dean frowned and trailed off slightly uncomfortable with all this.

Slightly?

"Dude, that's low even for you"

Part of Dean bristled at that.

"Holly and I…we kinda had a thing. A while ago"

Sam watched him expectantly

"And" Dean scrunched up his face trying to decide on the words.

"I have" he broke off staring ahead as though the answer of the perfect way to do this would be in the McDonalds sign opposite.

For gods sake Dean grow a pair.

"I have a son" he said not daring to look at Sam.

There was a long silence and Dean waited for the explosion. It grew and he waited, until finally he glanced at his little brother.

Who burst out laughing

"Yeah Dean. Right" Sam said shaking his head "We getting something to eat and not from"

"Dude I'm serious" Dean said feeling slightly bewildered.

Sam grinned at him with one eyebrow raised. But Dean's expression seemed to say or do something because the smile began to fade and drop and a slightly unfocused, stunned looked appeared in his eyes.

Dean tilted his head as if to confirm what he'd just said.

Sam's mouth dropped slightly and he shook his head staring in dawning horror at his brother

"You can't" he whispered hoarsely

Dean looked at him, once again swallowing back a sharp shoot of anger as his brain leapt to consider all the reasons why Sam might think Dean couldn't have a son. He knew what Sam meant but still.

Sam leant back, mouth still slightly ajar, clearly trying to work it all out in his head. Some things never changed with his brother.

Dean sighed and glanced out of the window, giving Sam a chance to come to terms, or figure it out, or whatever the hell Sam did when he went quiet. A quick glance at the sky told him it would be dark by the time they arrived, much to his irritation

He turned back when he heard Sam swallow. Knowing his brother the way that he did, he knew a barrel load of questions were about to asked so Sam could work it out properly.

"How" Sam whispered hoarsely

"The usual way Sammy" Dean said calmly

Sam shook his head as if attempting to clear it "How lon…how old is…he?" sounding as if he were hesitant to admit James's existence.

"Ten" Dean frowned realising with a jolt that he'd missed his boys birthday "Eleven"

Sam nodded.

And then he lost that unfocused look.

"How old?" he almost roared.

"I just told you Sam" Dean replied with a slight edge in his voice.

"Eleven years? Jesus Dean I thought this had happened when I'd…how could you?" Sam yelled and slammed out of the car

Dean sat for a few seconds, torn between swearing at everything, screaming at Sam and just collapsing in the seat. With a deep, what he hoped cleansing breath he got out of the car.

_Getting wise in your old age Dean_

Sam was pacing the car, hands deep in pockets muttering under his breath. Dena leant against the side of the car; arms folded on top it saying nothing. And waiting.

He didn't have to wait long.

"I have a…God Dean, I have an eleven year old"

"Would you keep your freakin' voice down" Dean hissed.

Sam whirled around "Why should I Dean…" he paused and looked irritated, then stopped his mad gait. Running a hand through his hair he let out a groan of frustration. "You think he's in danger"

"Why do you think I'm doing this huh. I could be leading them straight to him" Dean said stepping away from the car and allowing his door to slam shut with a bang.

Sam looked at the ground clearly putting effort into controlling his words. He sighed and looked up

"Does Dad know?"

Dean shook his head.

Sam nodded and glanced of at the road they'd just come from. He suddenly turned back to Dean

"Meg. She was at Pastor Jim's"

Dean shook his head "If they'd known they'd of gone for him straight away. They wanted that colt bad enough to really piss Dad off didn't they"

Sam stared at Dean in disbelief "How could you of taken that chance Dean?"

"You think I wanted to?" Dean exploded. "You think I liked being relieved that they'd moved on to Caleb because it meant my boy was ok? You think I liked wondering if they'd double back, figure it out. That knowing they were within an hours distance of him"

"You should have damn well said something Dean and you know it" Sam snarled back.

"When Sam? Huh? When you were twelve years old and already hating this life? When I saw you for the first time in years?"

"Dean we were alone together for a whole year"

"During which time you made it perfectly clear that all you wanted was this demon" the hard edge in his voice back.

Sam opened his mouth in disbelief "You think that I wouldn't have understood that you wanted to check on him. You think I wouldn't of wanted to know that he was ok. That I wouldn't of understood the danger he could be in?". There was something in Sam's voice that begged to be told differently.

And it tore at Dean that he couldn't give his brother that.

Dean looked away and stared at the car. He knew that he had to do this and, as much as part of him was desperate to get in that machine and drive away from this, from all this he knew that he couldn't.

"You get this once ok?"

Sam snorted "What Dean?"

"You are a pain in my ass. Sam. You really are" he held up a hand as Sam went to interrupt looking mighty pissed "But you're my brother and I'd do almost anything for you. So much so that…" Dean took a breath "I'd do a hell of a lot but…dude you'd been gone. You'd grown up…and youd done it without me. I didn't know what kinda person you were. Not anymore. Couldn't predict what my geeky kid brother would do next. I don't even think you knew dude, not after what happened"

"Dean" Sam began

Dean shook his head "Let me…I'd do just about anything but…I…he's my boy." Dean shook his head "How could I put my boy's life in the hands of someone I didn't know anymore?"

Sam recoiled from that as if Dean had actually hit him. Hard.

Dean let out a puff of breath "But I am now"

Sam looked at him.

Dean nodded to himself. "Would have done it a few mo…a year ago but i…" he took a shaky breath "I hoped it would be over"

Sam closed his eyes and there was a long silence

"Ok? We done?" Dean asked feeling unbearably uncomfortable and hoping that he hadn't just killed his relationship with Sam "cause believe me Dude that's as much open honest crap that your ever gonna get. We clear"

A faint sad smile crossed Sam's face "Dean…" he sighed sounding very tired "You and i…we're gonna have to talk about this"

"Dude I just said"

"Dean you can't go avoiding all this forever. You tell a family member about this in a parking lot eleven years after…Dean it's messed up"

"Well yeah" Dean said turning to get into the car "But at least I told you" he said, the prize winning smile making an appearance

Sam began to make his way over to the car "Dean, about what that demon"

"We need to make a move if we want to get there by nightfall."

"Dean"

Dean turned to look at Sammy, face expressionless and slightly questioning. It was the classic I have no intention of saying anything but your gonna damn well spill to me face that he had perfected over the years.

"Never mind". There was a slightly lost tone to Sam's voice.

Dean ignored it and opened the car door, getting in. He waited without a word until a few minutes later Sam got in and started the engine

"So your sure he's the only one you got?" Sam, asked a while later

Dean stiffened for a minute then glared at Sam "Dude I use protection"

Sam looked at Dean

"Obviously except for that one time. Which was an accident"

Sammy pulled a face "Sorry so how old were you when…" Sam broke off and his eyes widened slightly "Dean"

"Mmm" Dean said suspiciously

"Uh…what's his name?" Sam asked

"James"

Sam glanced at Dean "Why that name?"

Dean frowned and shifted slightly "Dunno uh…think it was the first name we agreed on". He could feel Sam watching him and huffed slightly "I wasn't…wholly involved at the beginning"

Sam frowned "'Cause of what we do?"

Dean gave his younger brother a disbelieving stare "Dude I was sixteen. Have you actually heard the word Dad? It means responsibility, setting an example. Thinking. And…I wasn't exactly the best Dad material"

Sam shot him an amused look "Dean you practically raised me and you save people every day. You're hardly completely bad material"

Dean gave a quick disbelieving smile "You try telling a kid not to smoke, swear, hustle, lie, cheat, be violent when you live the life we do. It's a bit hypocritical…what" he asked glaring at his smirking brother "hey I do it for a reason. Not for fun…often"

Sam shook his head with a grin "You just, you sound like a…" Sam trailed of a slightly stunned look in his eyes

"Sam. Sam .SAM. ROAD" Dean yelled

Sam switched his attention back and narrowly missed the overtaking truck

"Dude no wonder you killed my car" Dean muttered

"Dean you taught me how to drive remember?"

"Clearly didn't take" Dean said glancing back at the truck "What was that?"

"I just…I realised. You're an actual Dad?" Sam said with some awe

"Yeah" Dean said slowly as if fearing for Sam's sanity.

"But I mean. A dad"

"And you're an uncle, Dad a grandpa"

Sam shook his head and gave Dean a curious look

"Dude stop it"

Sam turned back to the road "Huh. So no-one knows?"

"Well I imagine Holly has had some clues" Dean said dryly

Sam rolled his eyes "No. I meant. You know on our side?"

Dean sighed "Sam, Dad really has no idea."

"What about Pastor Jim?"

Dean tilted his head to the side. "He kina knew Holly vaguely. I guess he might have had a few suspicions"

"But he never said anything. Hinted at it?"

"No" Dean said leaning back

Sam was silent for a bit. "James Winchester. Good name I guess"

Dean took a deep breath and looked heavenwards

"James Samuel Winchester" Dean said as though the name was being dragged from him

Sam stiffened slightly with amazement and turned to say something

"Dude, don't push your luck" Dean said very quickly

Sam looked back at the road nodding his head a faint smile forming on his face.

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AN

See it seems to go to no point of view. But otherwise the dialogue would be cut up with masses of internal thought which would get complicated and probably whiney.

I'm debating as to whether I should have Sam's pov after the revealing conversation. I'm not sure that he doesn't get over this a bit too easily or whether I should just jump on to them arriving and meeting James. Yes he will make an appearance too.

If this isn't updated by Saturday then I'm afraid you will have to wait for two weeks because I'm going away (Yay). I'll be back on the 4th so I guess it will be about then

Oh and I want help cause I can't see Dean letting sam get away with the water thing. Ideas on how he gets him back would be lovely. I haven't a clue!

Thank you to all who have reviewed. Hope that this keeps you occupied. And a special thanks to TangledPencils. I have made a few adjustments to the previous chapter it's still not the greatest punctuation wise and having more than one sentence per line but it's not quite as bad.

Purehalo – I have to agree Sam in mothering mode is great fun. If only cause of Deans adverse reaction to the idea!

RavynJensen I will respond I know I keep saying that but I will I will I will. There its been said three times it has to happen!

WolvieRogue-DeanSamlvr – thanks (big smile!)

Please do review though and when I get back I will be free as a bird and a young adult with no life! And review even if its criticism. Though constructive would be nice. But just review. Review review review. There the three times thing. Hah.


	7. Chapter 7

AN

My apologies people I went away to an evil place were there was no internet. or rather there was but…anyway. Yes. Here is the next chapter in the gripping…

Mmm. Well it the next chapter anyway. And it might be a bit rushed cause I was eager to get to the exciting bit. So sorry if it is

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There was the smallest frown on Dean's face as they pulled up the long drive. Sam glanced over at him and then at the drive unsure as to what it was about this seemingly normal road that had Dean glaring at it as though it had burst into flames just to spite him.

The frown was getting deeper and there was a slight crease around the eyes. Both the only clues that Sam ever got that Dean was really worried about something.

"What is it"

Dean shook his head leaning onto the dash in front, squinting through the looming darkness "No lights"

Sam blinked "What?"

Dean glanced in his direction briefly "There are no lights on. Anywhere. They're always on"

Sam shook his head "Maybe they finally got the electricity bill" he broke off at his brothers filthy look. "Dean I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation"

Dean shot him a look "When has it ever been that simple"

Sam nodded in silent acknowledgement. "We still drive all the way up?"

Dean nodded.

The house that appeared from behind the firs was old and slightly overly rustic. Sam raised an eyebrow at that, unsure if this Holly had just done well for herself or if Dean had actually had more than a little bit of success at his less than lawful lifestyle.

As Dean had mentioned there were no lights, not the one turning into the driveway to this and three other houses, not the lamp on the way up.

And not the house.

Dean was already out of the car and up the steps that led to the front door. There was an aura of urgency to him, one that would have stunned Sam in its intensity had he not seen the way Dean had reacted to the news of their fathers capture all those months ago.

Sam got out of the car hesitantly. If it was something supernatural then they were sitting ducks. If it wasn't…meeting his nephew for the first time by aiming a kick at his head wasn't the best way to go about it

Meeting your nephew at the age of eleven isn't exactly the best way to go about it a voice snipped in his head.

Sam held back the rebuke as Dean fiddled with the lock. After listening to Dean earlier ranting on about setting a good example, he had to assume that there was a good and valid reason to all of this.

Dean disappeared into the darkness inside and Sam leant against the porch railings as the dusk set in. It was a beautiful scene he thought with a hint of jealously. How was it that this was what he had always had in mind for a family home and Dean was the one who got it.

The thought immediately disappeared when Dean appeared five minutes later a dark look on his face. And missing the two occupants that they had driven all this way to find.

Sam opened his moth to offer something, some lame words that conveyed the idea that there was some hope. Because the minute Dean had appeared his heart had just sunk and galloped in horror. If this was what he was feeling he couldn't even begin to imagine what Dean thought.

But Dean had whipped out his phone…

Sam blinked in confusion, probably his mind latching onto the welcome distraction to the chaos he was sorting through now. But when the hell had Dean picked up a phone. It wasn't Sam's…he glanced quickly at the back seat where he'd tossed it that morning. Nope it definitely wasn't his phone.

Suddenly his mouth tightened as he realised exactly what Dean had done with that pound when they'd stopped for a drink at the gas station.

Little…

"What?" Dean's shocked voice cut through his irritation at his brother. There was a naked look on his face, it was the best way to describe it. Dean would never of showed this much shocked horror willingly.

Sam moved closer as if the speaker could broadcast the words to him as well

"When, how what….god. How's James coping?" the stunned sound was still lingering.

Then Dean stiffened and a guilty look came into his face "I'm…I know but…" then the classic I'm getting pissed off Dean Winchester face made an appearance, relieving Sam to no end. Even more so when Dean rolled his eyes and held the phone away from his ear. Sam shot him a questioning look and Dean simply mouthed "_Map_"

Sam reached in through the rolled down windows and held it questioningly at Dean, who pointed to the hood of the car and made a "flat" sign with his hands. Sam rolled it open and glanced at Dean who had put the phone back to his ear

"I'm in town…yes I realise that…do you think me staying away will make it bet…would you put Matt on the phone Patricia"

Dean pursed his lips and glanced at Sam who was waiting patiently for his next instructions

"Dude pull my finger" he whispered, clearly, Sam hoped, between talking to his son's grandparents

Sam glared at him but held the map open all the same.

"Matt" there was a hint of relief in Dean's voice and a flicker of sorrow "I'm so sorry…yeah. Listen I…something's happened. In my department…uh huh…Matt I need to come over tonight"

Sam tapped his fingers desperate to hear what was being said

A look of pain washed Dean's face and Sam frowned. Sure Dean had been away for a long time but with good reason…

Dean suddenly shot out a hand and grabbed the car as though for balance, his head tipped down so that Sam couldn't see his face

Sam looked at the house wondering what the hell was being said to drive Dean to this state.

"Matt I…" Dean managed to croak out before the phone dropped from his fingers

"Dean" Sam shouted coming round the car to the form that was doubled over. "Dean what"

Dean began to make a hacking noise as though he had a bad cough. Sam had a second warning to back off before Dean leant over and puked.

And in the twig light Sam could make out a trickle of red down Dean's chin.

Dimly in the shadow under the car, mercifully missed by Dean a faint voice could be heard shouting Dean's name.

Sam glanced down and helped Dean manoeuvre into a position where he was leaning against the car and gasping deep breaths of air. Terrified concern in his eyes Sam hesitantly reached down and picked up the phone

"Hello?"

"Who is this" a voice that rang absolutely no bells in Sam's head demanded

"Sam"

There was a silence "Little Sammy"

Sam gritted his teeth amazed that the nickname could still irritate him when it came from a non family member. He held Dean's shoulder to keep him from slipping down the side of the car. Dean who just blinked disorientated at him "Yeah"

"Where's Dean?"

"He's" Sam hesitated unsure of exactly what to say "He's sick."

"Then phone an ambulance. I'll meet you later at the hospital"

"I can't" Sam whispered

"What"

It occurred to Sam dimly that he was spilling more of his problems to a stranger than phoning his own father. "Dean and I, we have no ID that we can use…" he trailed off as Dean looked at him with some clarity "Wait a second hold on"

"What?" he mouthed gently to Dean

"Tell him we'll be there within half an hour" Dean grounded out

Sam put a hand over the speaker "Dean your dead on your feet"

Dean cracked a horrific laugh at that "Sam I need to…we need to…crap" he gritted banging his head backwards and resting for a few seconds. "We need to teach them basic protections"

"Dean"

"Holly died in a car crash a week after ours" Dean hissed "Get the directions, get that map and drive us there"

Sam glanced between the phone and Dean. "Dean we have no idea what's happening with you perhaps"

"Sam" Dean yelled "What you gonna do explain the whole thing, expect a normal" Dean broke off and attempted to rise "Sam please" he whispered

"_Sam don't_"

Sam flinched visibly remembering the last and only time his brother had ever begged him. To save their fathers life.

Blowing out a shakey breath sam turned back to the man in the phone

"We have to teach you how to protect James. What's your address?"

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Sam glanced at Dean in the car. "Is it your chest?" he whispered

Dean looked at him then shook his head, blowing out quietly a few calming breaths.

Sam turned up the next road "Maybe we should call Dad"

Dean glared at him "You do it. I done enough explaining today"

Sam shook his head in half hearted amusement, then turned serious "You feeling better?"

Dean nodded "It's fading" he said in a tone that invited no further queries.

"Dean…man we have to face this sooner or later"

Dean refused to look in his direction

"Dean you should be"

"Dead?" Dean said in a no nonsense tone "Yeah I'm kinda aware of that Sammy"

"No. Dean you should be careful. We have no idea what happened or why it happened. You have to take it slow. For all we know…" Sam trailed off not wanting to voice his thoughts

Dean glanced at him impatiently "Could be what?"

"Temporary" Sam said in a small voice hating himself.

There was a long silence "Looks that way at the moment doesn't it?"

Sam nearly drove them into the woods with shock

"Dude are you positive a demon caused the crash" Dean quipped

"Dean…you can't just blurt that out in the blue" Sam nearly shouted "its only one of many theories, I just wanted to make sure"

Dean shook his head "I just…I wanted to…Dude don't you make me say it"

Sam frowned at the road as he made another turn. Then his eyes widened and he pulled over

"Sam we said we'd be there"

"Screw that Dean" Sam snapped "You thought that the moment I told you didn't you?"

Dean rolled his eyes "It occurred"

"What that this was a temporary reprieve to set right all your unfinished business. Tell me about James so I become his protector, don't bother about Dad cause you think he's come to terms with it. Tell these two pensioners how to protect their grandson. What was the grand plan for me Dean. Huh?"

"Sammy"

"Don't Sammy me Dean. Is that the reason that you won't take the whole trying to stay healthy thing seriously?"

Dean shook his head "Sam I'm either dying or I'm not. Eating tuna ain't gonna change that"

"Dean"

"Sam I'm not talking about this with you. I" Dean broke off pulling his hands to his stomach and bending over

"Dean" Sam reached one hand over to grab his brothers shoulder, to offer some form of protection or comfort while glancing around for the phone

"Dean you need a doctor" he said in a tone that brooked no arguments

"Dude I have no valid ID. What you gonna tell them huh?"

"I'll think of something" Sam said flipping open the phone

"Let me see my boy" Dean said calmly but still in that awful position

Sam hesitated and glanced at him

"For Gods sake Sam…look his gran was a nurse briefly. If she recognises any of this stuff. I'll go"

Sam looked ahead, avoiding the look. People want to know where he got the puppy dog look from, look no further. Though Dean's was a paler contrast it could still do the job when needs must

"You swear?"

"Every damn day"

Sam glared at him

"Fine. Yes I promise. You?"

"Yes Dean" Sam said in a slightly worn out voice and pulled the car back into the road again. "What hurts now?" he asked

There was a slight hesitation "My hands"

Sam was taken aback slightly "Your hands…What the hell kind of symptom is that?"

Dean opened his mouth to reply then the look changed. Sam followed his gaze to the stream of light that flooded the darkness. It was coming out of one of the houses.

"Is this?" he asked

Dean nodded and Sam switched off the engine and glanced at the silhouette that stood by the door.

The moment of truth

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Dun Dun Dun

Think that I can drag it out any longer or should I have pity on you all? In fairness I do keep intending on having the Dean James reunion much earlier. I even had one version where he was in it by the third chapter.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed and keep em coming. I'm a junkie. Seriously even if its to criticize (constructively)

RavynJensen - oh the questions. I've missed those! And I'm dragging it out so I get more. Yay!

Tangled Pencils – yeah it does flow better now thank you. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Hope this meets your approval!

And thankyou to becomingwhaturmeantobe, purehalo, toyatezuka and powrRangrFreeek for reviewing


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.

AN - hmm. Not sure about this one so feed back would be greatly appreciated.

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The sound of metal screeching filled his ears. But instead of his own screams and his mothers hacking whispers another sound could be heard. A sob in the darkness. Pleading for help.

Screaming his father's name.

And that faded into his Grandfathers voice. Screaming. For a second or two he thought about pulling the pillow over his head to drown out the noise interrupting his sleep.

Then two thoughts occurred. The first hits every eleven year old, the worry that something exciting was happening and that he might be left out. The second was the sudden fear that something might actually be wrong.

Torn between tiredness and curious worry he sighed and rolled out of bed, landing in a crouch on the floor. A bit like the ninja's did. And Dad. He'd done that one night that he'd been on the couch and there'd been a hedgehog outside on the gravel.

It had been so funny but also kinda cool. His Dad wasn't like Marks Dad who had a weird smell on his breath and lumbered about.

James held up his head. His Dad was no woos. And he wouldn't be either. He opened his door blinked the light the flooded into his eyes. His grandparents house was always the same sticky warmth. The kind that was nice at first but after a while gave you a headache.

It was a matter of principle that he would never call this house his. Cause what had happened to Mum…Dad had to take him now. When he turned up. In the bloody awesome car.

Dad let him say that. Said it was the only time he could say the b word. Because with the Impala it was the gods honest truth.

He'd thought…for ages he'd hoped that when his Dad finally appeared he would miraculously bring back mum. A year since James had actually gotten over it. Missed his mum like crazy but accepted that she would not come back.

But Dad would despite what Grandma said. And the uncomfortable look that crossed Grandpa's face whenever Dad was mentioned. It was just because they didn't really know Dad.

And Dad would not be screaming down the phone like a lame ass at someone called Sammy at ten o clock in the night.

Wait till he told everyone he was up at ten o clock.

Bet Jake Barter would say he'd been awake at two minutes past.

"Sam thank God…what the hell is going on?"

Grandpa paused and listened to the answer. James frowned running a list in his head of all his grandpa's friends. The only Sam he knew was at school a year above him.

_Don't you go giving me Sammy eyes_

James shook his head clearing away his fathers voice. Like Grandpa and Dad would have… what was the fancy term? Mutual Acquaintances?

"What's that supposed to mean? Why does James need protection?"

That caught James who had half been leaning in the direction of the stairs back to the glorious bed.

"Sam I want an answer right now. What have you and Dean got yourselves involved in?"

Dad.

James felt his eyes widen and a weird feeling clutch his belly. Like when you were gonna be sick only more in the throat.

Involved with?

Dad was a kind of PI slash bounty hunter. Was it really important? Like gangs or something. James smiled. He knew there had to be a reason for all of this. And Dad was trying to protect him.

He didn't need protection. He was a Winchester. Like Dad. Strong and stuff. He could help. Climb through windows and get evidence. Better than that Sammy dude. Sounded like a girl's name.

"Don't you dare" came a harsh voice that sounded like his grandpa. But there was no way that was grandpa. Grandpa was…grandpa. Calm and cool. James would be his Dad when he was slightly old but eventually he'd be like Grandpa. Collect Mum used to say.

Not sneering down the phone like Marks dad.

He jumped when a cool soft hand lay on his shoulder.

"You're not coming in my house" Grandpa yelled and James jumped slightly again. This had to be a dream.

"You're not" abruptly the tone changed "God what is that…is that…" Grandpa leant away from the phone slightly.

"Matt" Grandma began.

"Sam you hear me. He needs to be in a hospital. People don't make noises like that. Take Dean to a hospital now"

James whimpered and his grandpa's head whipped around with shock. The pair continued to stare at each other and dimly he heard Grandma take the phone and calmly give the directions from home.

Dad needed the hospital?

James felt something explode in his stomach. No Dad…no. Dad was utterly indestructible and…the lucky rogue mum had said. Nothing happened to Dad. Nothing could happen to Dad.

Could it?

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James looked out the window, despite his grandparents insistence that he get to sleep. No way was that going to happen.

Every time he heard something even faintly resembling a car he would lean over the couch and stare determinedly as though he could will the Impala to appear.

The sound of a car made him blink sleep out of his eyes and lean forward. There were definite headlights coming towards them. He glanced at his grandparents, Grandpa was pacing and Grandma was sipping a cup of tea alternating glances between them all.

The car pulled into the drive way.

James nearly threw himself at the window, then slumped in disappointment that it wasn't his Dad. Grandpa simply frowned and opened the door. A few seconds later his feet could be heard patting the pebbles.

James sighed and rested his head against the back of the chair, pulling the woven blanket around him more firmly.

Car Crash

His eyes flew open in worry.

And locked on the figure leaning on the door.

For a few seconds he just stared and lifted his head slowly off the sofa.

Then ran forward into his Dad's arms.

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Sam watched as his brother seemed to fold around the boy that had flown into his arms. Blond hair and hazel eyes, with Dean's chin. Tall for eleven Sam thought with a curious humour.

He could feel stone blue eyes watching him closely from the corner and felt the presence of Matthew behind him. Unsure of what to do or how much they knew he looked down at the patterned carpet. It was quite hideous yet so old fashioned it was sweet.

Dean had knelt down and was whispering in his sons ear as the boy wrapped his arms around him and lay his head on Dean's shoulder. A fist had curled around Dean's jacket and was creasing it almost desperately.

Then Deans shoulders shook.

Sam whipped himself to their level and placed a warning hand on Dean's other shoulder. An angry hazel gaze was directed at him. Sam felt a slight sinking in his chest but ignored it. James would thank him even less if he allowed Dean to die on the floor.

Leaning round he tried to catch Dean's eye and was stunned when Dean's hand grabbed his wrist half way there. He meet his brothers eyes and nearly dropped to the floor in shock at the faint dampness that he saw there. He twisted his hand and grabbed Dean's wrist back. His brother simply nodded then buried his face in his sons shoulder.

Sam hesitated and looked up to the couple that were watching them. The pair were watching them, Matthew sadly and his wife thoughtfully.

AN

I know that its short and you didn't get Dean and James' real pov. But I figured that I'd either over do it or under do it so I had Sam watch. I think I also might need to work on James a bit. Never having been an eleven year old boy I'm not overly sure on how to write them!

Next chapter has been started. I might even be back to my ridiculously quick updates soon


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize

AN

Hello all. This might be the last one for a while because I'm off to university in a week for my first year so it might be a few weeks or it might be next week before I go.

This chappie is more just a bit of a sum up. Imagine it's like the end of part one if you like. I am also going over the other chapters to correct grammar and spelling and just to make sure the story fits together. I'm doing a few at a time otherwise I get bored and skip over it all! So there will be an update but it might not have another chapter. Special thanks to Tangled Pencils for helping me with that.

And thank you to everyone who reviewed. Very appreciated. Loving it. Keep 'em coming!

Here we go….

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The house was utterly silent. Dimly he could hear the sound of a computer whirling and the change of light as Sammy searched the Internet for whatever he was attempting to follow this week.

Dean chose to ignore it. He could have stood up and walked over to where his brother was. He would never admit, even to himself that the reason was not that he wouldn't but that, at the moment, he couldn't.

He sat on the edge of the sofa in the dark. Sam thought he was asleep and Dean had done little to change his opinion. At the moment he needed a break from his little brother's constant mothering. His hands shook ever so slightly as another spasm crashed through them, less painful than the last time. He waited it out calmly, slowly getting used to the idea that he might be failing.

A slight sharpness seemed to cut through his arm. He bit back a yelp that was more shock than anything. Frowning he glanced at his arm to check there was no evidence of damage.

His forefinger touched the cuff of his shirt hesitantly and he locked his eyes on the door frame where Sam had disappeared through. Keeping an eye on it and not bothering to squint in the faint light he saw by touch. His finger slipped under the shirt and someway up his wrist. It did occur that it would be easier to simply remove the shirt but if Sam suddenly popped through he would likely demand an explanation. Likely? Sam would stand there 'till the cows came home he was so pig stubborn. Dean smiled picturing his brother with _that_ look on his face. And the folded arms. And, if Sam was really going for it, the pacing.

His breath hitched slightly when he felt something…different on his arm. A long thin ridge, a bit like a scar. He attempted to trace it but the shirt was too restricting. He pulled his hand out and closed his eyes. He knew that the scar hadn't existed before the night of the crash. Knew that there had never been these weird pains that flittered at random all over his entire body.

_Dad's eyes staring at him, hidden by the murky yellow of the demon. The cruel, calm smile, assessing him as though he'd found something, or come to some decision._

_And then agony_

Dean shook his head, trying to erase the memories. It was pointless, the demon had revealed nothing after that apart from another power they would have to be wary about in the future.

But he had seen the look in those eyes. The amusement, the pleasure, the certainty. The demon had been sure that he would die that night. Had been sure that John Winchester would be destroyed by whatever means.

That Sammy would be taken.

As much as that though enraged him it puzzled him. The demon would not have wasted time doing this. What was the point of Dean suffering if the demon couldn't see it, couldn't use it against more important family members. He should have died that night.

Dean snorted quietly at that. He should be dead full stop. The crash…

He frowned. What did he actually remember? Sam and Dad had been arguing, no surprise there. Dad had been…injured? Yeah. Sammy had blown a bullet into the old man's leg, Dean could remember hearing the bang as he crashed to the floor, he'd been level with Dean. Sammy had held the Colt and pointed it at him while Dad had begged to be killed, to take the demon with him.

And then Sam had disappeared outside to draw the symbols.

Had the demon come back and done something then?

Dean shook his head. If the demon had come back he and Dad would be dead. And why have the whole thing with the truck afterwards. Unless it was all an elaborate trap for Sam…no. It was to elaborate, too much effort.

_All the other children like you_

Dean glanced up at the ceiling where Matthew had carried James back to bed when his son had finally fallen asleep at gone past two. The terrified thought that the demon had simply needed him to get to James had run through his head a million times today. But if the demon knew about James then the demon would have James. Unlike Sam there were not a million and one defences at James' disposal.

"_Dad you've been unreachable for a year"_

Dean stood up needing to…to just do something other than sit. The demon had nothing to do with his state right now. It made no sense. Was it a fall back from the healing he'd received in Nevada? Dean shook his head. The beloved Reverend has still been blind when he'd woken up. Plus why would it last? Dean hadn't even been overly convinced that his miraculous recovery wouldn't be reversed when they released the Reaper.

Why was this happening now? He had to protect Sam and James. And the more this kind of stuff happened, the less his father would trust him. And, like it or not, his Dad might be the only one with answers.

Dean watched the dim light on the carpet change brightness as Sam surfed on the net, and then glanced heavenward again in the direction of his son's room. He ran his fingers through his hair feeling an odd feeling coarse through him. His breathing felt fluttered, as though his stomach was rising to his throat.

And for the first time in a long time he knew what the reason for this was. He reached for his chest but stopped when he remembered that the item he was reaching for wasn't there. He was grateful when the panic disappeared into a well of frustration.

And the frustration gave him the spark he needed and as he stood, once more, as usual the pain seemed to dim without rhyme or reason.

"Sam" he hissed walking through into the small study that he remembered to be Matthew's domain.

His brother turned his head ever so slightly, but Dean knew Sam was watching his every move with utter care.

"What the hell are you doing dude?" Dean asked looking at the screen

Sam stiffened ever so slightly "You can't read it?" there was a hidden terror in his voice

Dean rolled his eyes "I ain't screwing up my eyes by tryin' to read that thing at four o clock in the morning without light"

Sam glared at him, the blue light making his face ever so slightly freaky. "I'm looking at the inquest into Holly's death"

Holly's death. It was still utterly unreal. Uncomfortable Dean nodded "Yeah that's way too much of a coincidence, what have you got then?" he said leaning over and starting to read the screen. Sam whacked him on the shoulder and turned the screen away from him.

"Dean you should rest" he said seriously

"Dude stop being such a woman. What have you got?" Dean demanded reaching out a hand to grab the screen and frowning inwardly as it slowly started to lightly pulsate with pain.

Sam pressed his lips together and minimized the window he was looking at "I'm serious Dean. Go back to bed"

"I'm on the sofa you frickin' moron" Dean whispered harshly

"Then go back to that" Sam muttered, folding his arms.

Dean glared at him then froze at a sudden noise from outside. Clearly Sam caught the movement because Dean could feel Sam's annoyance radiating from his body

"Dean, the house is protected, I've salted every spare inch of this place. I'll get some Holy water tomorrow. There's nothing more to do tonight. Go to sleep"

Dean ignored him trying to listen for another noise. The faded pain had disappeared as quickly as it had come. Again. Feeling Sam watching him Dean suddenly felt slightly trapped. God what he would give for his blessed car right now. To go out and just drive and crank up the volume. His gaze flickered to the motionless car outside.

It would still be a drive.

"I'll go get the water now" Dean said to Sam who had ignored him and gone back to what he had been doing.

Sam shot a look at him "It's four in the morning"

"Yeah, all you freaky ass people are awake at this time"

Sam frowned "Don't you think it's a little obvious if someone starts demanding Holy Water in the early hours of the morning"

Dean swallowed back a bite of frustration and reluctantly nodded. "Yeah well I'm awake now. I can help you with that"

Sam took a deep breath and whirled away from the computer "I tell you what Dean, you can sit down and think of how to explain all this to your son tomorrow"

Dean froze "Oh come on dude. I can't just spring that on him" he complained

"You sprung him on me" Sam argued

"Yeah but you're not eleven. You know what eleven year olds are like. The most likely thing to come out of your mouth was "I hate you""

"Dean he's not going to hate you. He adores you"

"Sam you saw the kid for five minutes" Dean argued

"Yeah and in that time a blind man could tell" Sam shot back

Dean stared at him for a time feeling a swell of…some mushy feeling swell through him. More; pride that Sam had picked up on it.

Huh not such a bad Dad now am I? he thought.

Except for the fact that he had to explain to his son that very little of what James knew of his life was actually true. He frowned and looked at Sam feeling slightly relieved that it looked like he might actually get some help with this…Talk. Sigh.

Dean nodded "Ok then, how does this sound"

Sam groaned and shut of the computer screen.

"Son. I've been hunting demons and the supernatural since your grandmother died when I was four. She was killed likely by the same things that killed your mum. Oh and you have an Uncle Sam and a Grandfather you didn't know about"

"What?" Sam hissed "He doesn't even know about me?"

"My fake ID doesn't have a brother" Dean protested.

Sam stared at him then leant over to bury his forehead in his hand "Oh god Dean"

Dean watched his brother properly shut down the computer and turn to him.

"Ok. Perhaps we should break it down into separate talks. Demon's first?"

"Oh fantastic. This will be a bucket of joy"

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John threw the pictures to the floor, part of him enjoying the way that the photographs rustled and scrunched. The smiling families stared up at him through the wrinkles in a way he couldn't escape.

He turned away and stopped, catching both his breath and his temper. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, tilting his head gently from side to side, ironing out the pain that had occurred from hunching over all this rubbish for far too long.

With a will of their own his eyes turned to his journal, now back in his possession. His hand reached out to the fat book on the thin desk and flicked it open, not one other part of him moving, near frozen in terror.

The picture was found easily, him and his boys. Staring at the camera, looking like a regular hunting trip. Above that was the four of them. Him and Mary grinning at the camera, him holding the squirming four year old, she holding the tired infant. It was like staring at another life.

And it was gut-wrenching to stare at four faces when only two of them survived at this present time.

He plucked the picture up and held it close. A failure, that was what he was. He turned and his eye once more caught a picture. Of another destroyed family. A couple and their baby. He could recognise the looks on their faces. The delighted terrified look that meant you were a parent. Utterly responsible for this new little life. He remembered bringing Dean home from the hospital. Him and Mary placing his car seat in the front room and then sitting down and just watching. In pure, blind, utter terror. Mary timidly asking what the hell they were going to do when he woke up. It had been easier with Sam, second children always were he imagined. Shame these two had never got that chance.

His eyes flickered to another picture. Another couple and their child.

John hesitated for a second looking at the three pictures. All families attacked on the child's six month birthday.

But, with the exception of Sam, all had been the first born. Each family bar the Winchesters had only a mother, a father and a baby.

John tapped his foot forward kicking the pictures so that he could see them all, unsure if he had actually stumbled on something or not. The attack on his family had been one of the earlier ones. Could the demon of screwed up before refining his technique? Could there have been something that the demon overlooked.

Could the demon of not known about Dean, or at least not considered that Sam was not the first born?

John shook his head, but as of yet nothing had changed. Sam was still. Like the other children, experiencing unnatural abilities. Sam's upbringing seemed to be the only true separating factor between him and the other children. He swallowed back a sudden dampness. Had the over sight been remedied, Dean had been targeted in that Cabin. Hell Dean had been suffering more over that year with injuries than he had for years. Part of John had assumed that it was the boy's trying to find their feet with each other.

What if it had been more?

_They got in the way of my plan's for you Sammy. You and all the children like you_

_AN_

_I know that's not the exact right quote but I have let my friend borrow my Supernatural DVD. This is the friend that never gives things back so I've had to try and remember it as best I can. _


	10. Chapter 10

AN

Oops, apparently a few weeks turned into next year. But it is part of my resolution to write frequently once more and uni has settled down now. A warning that this chapter might be a bit weak but I was struggling to get back into the story and needed a chapter to launch me forward. The next one is a bit more interesting plot wise. Also I will continue to edit the other chapters now that I'm back and have time!

Hope all had a good x-mas and new year and that all is well

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James had been dying to get out of school before he'd even got there. Not that it was anything particularly new but even so. It felt like the day was dragging on purpose. He got told of three times by Miss Harver for not paying attention and for his "abysmal attitude".

Cow.

He'd woken up that morning desperate to find his Dad, to make sure that all this hadn't been some weird and wonderful dream. He'd shot out of bed, tumbled downstairs, eyes still blurry with sleep, dark blond hair mussed and sticking everywhere. To his delight he'd got a glimpse of Dad in the living room talking to Grandpa…

Just before Grandma had grabbed him and sent him back up stairs to get ready for school. James had half thought about arguing with her and tried to catch his Dad's eye through the doorway. But Dad had a really serious expression on his face and was gesturing passionately about whatever it was he was talking about. He'd ran back upstairs and got washed and dressed in record time, hampered slightly by the fact he couldn't skip through the routine because Grandma had followed him up and was clearly keeping an eye on him.

When he'd dashed back downstairs to eat breakfast and, more to the point, grab Dad, the man had disappeared. James had sulked into his cereal, and glared at the guy…Sammy?…over the bowl. Part of him had been a bit relieved, if Dad's…whatever the hell he was, was still here then Dad was still here. Just not around.

James had gotten in the car with Gran to find himself in the back seat as the guy tagged along with them. Grandma had tried to make conversation but James had been unresponsive. Why was everyone hidding everything? Dad had been ill last night over the phone, Grandpa knew more about Dad then he'd been led to believe and something was happening with Dad's work. Why did everyone treat him like such a baby. If he was old enough to know something was going on then shouldn't they clue him into what it was?

James had gotten out of the car the second that they pulled up and not turned around to his Grandma's calls.

"Hey"

James still hadn't turned. Had no intention of doing so until a hand grabbed his shoulder and gently but firmly spun him around.

The guy was tall so James had to tilt his neck to squint up at Sam who had his back to the sun. Firmly the hand on his shoulder guided him over to a wall, out of the way. James had a faint worry as he was pulled away from everyone, but shrugged it off. His Dad would kill Sam if he did anything.

"Look I guess you're pi…angry at De…your Dad for not being around this morning"

James glared up at him and said nothing. The guy could keep stumbling around his words for all he cared.

"James I know that a lot's happened to you"

James rolled his eyes at the familiar speech "I gotta get to school, I'm gonna be late"

"Dean's going to talk to you. Just give him some time to make sure that everything's sorted"

James remained quiet watching the guy carefully.

"There's a lot he has to tell you…it's just deciding how" Sam paused " and how much." the second was said a lot quieter.

James glared at him "I deserve to know" he snarled

Sam was quiet for a bit "I know you do"

James blinked at that "What?" he asked stunned that someone agreed with him

Sam sighed "Look your Dad's going to talk to you tonight ok? Just…listen to him ok? Hear him out"

James was quiet "Is it bad?" he asked in a small voice, heart racing.

Sam sighed and leant against the wall, shoving his hands into his pockets. He was quiet for a bit.

"How much do you know about your Dad?" he asked after a while

James opened his mouth "I…" he blinked and frowned

"Do you know anything about his family?" Sam asked watching him carefuly

James frowned. He'd never really thought about it if he was honest. He had a Grandma, Grandpa, a mum and a Dad. What more had he really needed?

"I don't…" he trailed off and looked questioningly at Sam.

"Your Dad's family is…" a weird smile appeared on Sam's face "Complicated. Very complicated. There's all kinds of problems and circumstances. Your Dad was trying to protect you from that and now it's all caught up with u…him"

James had nodded slowly "He'll talk to me tonight?"

Sam sighed "He will. I promise"

James had nodded and stood uncomfortably "I guess I'd better…"

Sam blinked and looked over James' head "Your late, sorry uh…do you want a note?"

James smiled faintly "Yeah ok."

"Right" Sam said "You'll have to show me where I can talk to reception"

James started to walk and Sam walked by his side.

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James literally ran out the door when they were dismissed and shot out of the school. He'd been mulling it over as he'd been in school. Nervousness, excitement, worry rolled around his stomach and had butterflies dancing in his belly.

He walked over to the place where his Grandma usually picked him up, following the old tradition where Mum had picked him up. He swallowed back the sadness at that, wondering how much she had known about Dad. How she would cope with this if he were living with her.

He stopped at the unfamiliar car and then grinned at the familiar figure that popped out and leant against the car.

"Hey there kiddo"

James nearly ran over, but restrained himself all to aware that he was still at school. He wasn't that much of a kid.

Dad slung his arm around James shoulders and tossed his school bag in the back seat through the open window.

"Good day at school?"

"yeah it was ok" James said leaning against him, burying his head in his Dad's side and breathing in the familiar scent.

"Hey?" Dad asked pushing James back slightly and placing a hand under his chin and forcing James to meet identical concerned eyes. "You ok?"

James nodded and swallowed and got in the car.

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Hazel eyes flickered wildly between all those watching him. Confusion was evident by the wrinkled forehead and the frowning pursed lips. Very slowly they parted as he turned to his grandmother a look of hope written on his young face.

"This is a joke right?"

Dean glanced at Sam as his son seemed to ignore him. A part of him fluttered with pain that the kid had to turn to another to make sure that all that had just been said was true. Sam's gaze was utterly focussed on James.

"James" Patricia began looking a bit lost

"No…" James trailed off and stared at the floor. Then the mouth tightened in a way that Dean could have sworn the kid got off Sam. The accusing gaze swung up to directly meet Dean's without flinching in the slightest "No this…a demon killed my mother" he said sarcasm entering the young voice.. "It just…it was a car crash and…no"

Dean sat frozen unsure of what to do. He could hear the question in the boys voice at that last word. If James accepted the first then he would have to be told the second and the third and the rest of the never ending list of horrors that he had sworn he would never allow James to be a part of.

"James, a similar thing happened to us" Sam said quietly.

Dean stiffened even further and turned to stare at his brother mind whirring to find a cover story or an unobvious way to make him stop.

James's eyes narrowed in question.

"Your Dad, me and y…another man were driving. Empty road, about two in the morning. And a truck ploughed into us out of no where and kept going until we were off the road."

James' eyes swung back to Dean's "You were in a car accident" he yelped

Dean shot a furious gaze at his brother and lent forward so that his elbows rested on his knees and his arm casually crossed. "When the car hit your mums, did the diver have dark eyes?"

James shook his head "I don't…" he whispered and looked so bewildered that it broke Dean's heart.

"It's ok" Sam whispered gently

James looked down and closed his eyes slowly. He looked back up after a few minutes seemingly a bit more calm. "What does…is it after me. Do I need a priest or something. I don't go to church"

Dean bit back a smile at that.

Sam shook his head "At the moment it seems more likely that it was after your Mum. If it wanted you its had no lack of"

"Sam" Matthew snapped "That's enough"

Dean glanced at Matthew with annoyance then with guilt as he saw the old man's face.

"Why did it want Mum?" James asked after a brief flitter at his grandfather

Dean and Sam exchanged looks "There could be a number of reasons" Sam began

"Like?" James demanded chin jutting out ever so slightly

There was a silence and Dean went through what he had rehearsed to say and then looked at the blond head of hair opposite him.

"I've been lying to you" he said, amazed at how his voice sounded. Steady, audible, determined. Hell only knew where that came from.

He felt rather than saw Sam's sharp movement of surprise and Patricia's utter freezing. All he could see was the frown and the look of disbelief from his boy.

"Dad"

"I hunt demons" Dean said simply "I hunt whatever I can whenever I can and I stop what happened to me and my family happening to others."

James meet his father look for look

"Then you failed" he said

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Dean's footsteps echoed as he walked down the aisle. The statue at the end of the church seemed to grow and loom over him the closer it got. The whole place was dead silent and only a few sat hunched over in silent prayers from their place in the pew's.

Dean sat without looking and stared at the front of the church without really seeing it. Feeling a well of…something come over him he bent his head into his hands. He had no idea why he'd driven here. He ought to have stayed and watched over James, been on hand should he suddenly decide to ask some questions or even forgive him.

Part of him was waiting he supposed for Pastor Jim to walk over and simply sit with him. Like he had when Dean had stared out the window with utter determination at the age of ten whilst waiting for his father to return. Perhaps the idea of the potential symmetry amused him. Maybe at that moment Sam had silently approached James' door and just sat with the boy.

Had he been wrong to keep all this from James? Hell had he been wrong to be so damn selfish and not move here to protect his son's family. He went to lean back when a spasm hit again in his arm. He sucked in breath quickly from the shock and this time with no one around to demand he took of his jacket and rolled up his sleeve.

He had deliberately not looked in fear of what he might find while Sam and James lurked around the house. He swallowed in surprise as another pain hit and the scar like thing grew. It was like a thread was under his skin raising a bump. The thread seemed to be wrapping its way down his arm. Agony flared in the other arm and slowly he watched as the same pattern emerged there.

"Shit" he whispered voice trembling without his permission. He looked over at anything to take his gaze away, praying that when he looked back it would all have been some weird hallucination. He stared at the candles trying to steady himself.

"_Mary"_ his fathers voice screamed from his subconscious. Sam's wails his own ragged breath. He watched the flames shudder and shake…

He blinked and glanced around suddenly realising that his actions weren't exactly normal. He twisted and turned as he realised that he was alone in the church. Confused he faced the front and glanced down at his watch. He had been in the church for nearly two hours. Shaking his head he stood up and begun to walk to the church doors. Then stopped dead.

A hooded figure stood in front of him. For a fraction of a second Dean had the image of a scythe been pulled out from the robes and a bony finger beckoning. Shaking the image away and feeling rising irritation and his own stupidity he simply nodded in a vaguely polite way and walked with determination. Then anger as the figure seemed to be in no hurry to move out of his way.

Bitch he thought, and felt his blood rising slowly. Intending to shove by he marched right up to the figure…

…and walked straight through them.

He froze and turned blood beating in his ears and readying himself. He reached out to scoop up the holy water in the dish.

And once again passed straight through.

Nonononononononononononononononooo

"You have got to be kidding" Dean said staring at the hooded figure

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I don't think that was the best I've ever written but I needed a way to get back into the story. Don't worry I am following the plan!!!

Thank you to spookyclaire and dawn vesper for their reviews, glad you liked it and found it funny!

Please review!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

AN

Lookie I updated quickly aren't I good. I seem to have found my feet with this once again, might be because I saw first episode of the new series the other day. Ooh my boys are back. Except I don't own them before someone sues me! Student no money no point!

I think that pastor Jim lived in Minnesota. If not let me know. I have in my usual fashion lent my DVDs out and I can't see that I've mentioned it in the story. Just blank past it!

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Sam sighed for what felt like the billionth time that evening alone. James still refused to come downstairs, Dean had been gone for hours and he was being glared at every five seconds by Patricia and Matthew as though the whole thing was his fault.

Part of him felt that they should have got it all over and done with, told the boy everything rather than tell him in drips and drabs. Sam had a feeling that it wasn't so much the content of what was being said, though that alone would throw most people into a spin. It was more the fact that James had been lied to for most of his life, and even more agonising seemed to be that fact that James idolised his father. The fact that he hadn't been trusted and everyone had known seemed to ride on James more than anything else, as well as bringing up the old wound of his mothers death.

Well Sam could definitely relate to all of that. Problem was that whilst part of him was dying to go upstairs and talk to his nephew, James still had no idea of their relation and Sam had a feeling that Dean would be royally pissed should he return and discover that James had been told more.

Sam leant against the window sill where he had been stood in the front room while Patricia and Matthew washed up in the kitchen. Dean was taking ages, part of Sam would have suspected that Dean had bailed, were it not for the fact that Dean had no weapons and no-where that he could go to get some. Nor did Sam believe that Dean would have left him here without weapons to defend the family and himself.

"Still not back yet"

Sam didn't turn round and felt part of him bristle at the tone that the statement was delivered with. As though nothing more was expected of Dean.

"No" he said quietly not trusting himself to say more and possibly start something that would make things a thousand times worse.

The silent waves of disapproval radiated from behind him and Sam clenched the edge of the sill, praying that he wouldn't have to add decking an old man to his list of sins.

"Your brother needs to learn some responsibility"

Sam bit his lip. Dean needing to learn responsibility? Part of him nodded vehemently, the other part of him screamed in annoyance that everyone seemed to pin such demands on his big brother. Feeling tired and confused he simply remained quiet.

"Didn't see that boy for a year after my girl told him that she was carrying James"

Sam remained silent

"And now he drops in when he pleases, runs away for a year and turns my grandsons life upside down, bringing with him all kinds of demons from the night. I should have kept him away, he's done nothing but bring grief"

Sam opened his mouth unsure on what to say that would satisfy his rage, keep the piece and voice his own annoyance in Dean.

"I'm going out" he declared and walked to the door, slamming it before Matthew started a rant about the entire Winchester family.

The air outside was freezing and Sam walked down the porch steps, collapsing on the third one up. Sitting with his head in his hands he tried to quiet the whirl wind that zoomed around his brain.

He heard the pad of feet and the snapping of wood, his head shot up, with the hopes that it was Dean and that they could have a good solid row to get rid of this crap that was whirring in his head. His heart sunk slightly when he saw that the figure standing a few feet opposite wasn't Dean. He nearly buried his head before he realised whose silhouette was opposite him.

"You shouldn't be out here on your own" he said quietly

"Why? Cause some…thing is gonna leap out the bushes and run me over"

Sam looked at the eleven year old that stood determinedly opposite him. "How did you get out here"

The boy ignored him "Anymore secrets that people are going to decide to share with me?"

Sam narrowed his eyes, aware that he wasn't in the best mood to be talking to the kid "Like?" he asked a stoney tinge to his voice.

"I heard Grandpa. Dad didn't want me, isn't that right _Uncle_?" Sam stared at the boy hearing the bitterness that was well beyond the years of the boy. Sam simply remained quiet, wishing that anyone else was here, that Dean was here and he was not.

"Fine" James muttered, voice dangerously close to tears. Sam felt that more than anything collapse the irritation that he had been feeling. He was suddenly left with a weariness that left him feeling nearly drained. Guilty he looked at his nephew, who seemed to be swallowing everything back.

"Your Grandma was killed by a demon when your Dad was four"

James looked up sharply, eyes wavering but narrowing with curiosity and interest, his face trying to move into some expression of boredom as though what was being said was of no consequence.

"Your Grandpa, he went a bid crazy after that, he'd seen….no-one believed him but he was sure that something had happened that night, something that needed to be stopped. He searched until he found out what it was, and the world that it existed in"

James' eyes narrowed as Sam paused, suddenly considering how his father had broken the news to Dean. Had he in his military style debriefed the boy and expected him to deal? Sam didn't remember a time where normality had existed and suddenly wasn't sure who had the easiest break, him or Dean.

"He hunted evil spirits, demons, creatures, anything that prayed on helpless. He taught me and your Dad how to do the same, all the time looking for the demon that had ripped our family apart. Your Mum and her family were the victim of a spirit, that's how your parents met"

James was silent and Sam waited for the angry burst, instead the boy moved closer, almost shyly but still with bottled anger. He was silent, Sam could see the boy working it out in his head and was surprised to see something of himself in James. If they had been closer he imagined that James may have worked it through out loud the way Sam occasionally did.

"You grew up like that?"

Sam nodded "I was a baby when my mother died. I can't remember her or a life without demons"

James nodded then frowned "Why are you here. Why now?"

Sam took a breath "I…I left the" he smiled ruefully " "Family business" if you like. Went to college. My Dad was so mad, we didn't talk for years. Then, last year it all got worse."

James closed his eyes "Dad didn't tell you about me, did he?"

Sam sighed "No"

Hurt sprung into his nephews eyes and Sam cursed Dean for not being here for the seventieth time that day.

"We're in a difficult position" Sam begun

James snorted and shook his head.

"It's hard to know the best way to protect someone. Do you stay away and not draw attention to them, or do you stand firm and fight risking that if something happens to you, what you fight for will be left utterly defenceless"

James was silent for ages and Sam glanced at his watch. Dean had been gone for almost five hours and he wasn't answering his phone. Where the hell had he gotten to?

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"There has been some mysterious activity on Minnesota"

John ignored the conversation and studied the map. He had no time to be dabbling with small fry, the son of a bitch that had torn his family was somewhere here. Let someone else deal with it or die from it. He wouldn't loose this chance.

"Where abouts?"

Bobby's voice. John had done his best to avoid him, his questioning gaze, his attempts to start a discussion about De…about Dean.

There was a flurry of paper as someone spread out a map, presumably to show Bobby where it had gone. John continued to look through the families that had been targeted looking for other similarities or differences between the targeted families.

"Shit"

The pure disbelief in Bobby's tone had even John glancing up from his research. Bobby was staring at a place on the map with utter…horror, amazement, annoyance, frustration? Something that was a mixture of them all. He looked up and caught Johns half curious gaze. A look of determination settled into Bobby's. he tilted his head in the direction of a separate room that John tended to use when all the murmurs and people got too much, or too distracting. John swallowed in irritation but stood up. He doubted that Bobby would have such a reaction for trivial matters.

Once inside the room Bobby closed the door and eyed John the way that one would eye a Rhino that could turn any second.

"You need to go to Minnesota"

John narrowed his eyes "I'm to close to this demon, I'm gonna kill the thing. I can't be running across states"

"Your grandson is there"

John felt his heart freeze and his ears buzz as though he was surrounded by water.

"Dean's son is there"

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Red and white lights flashed outside the church, casting the bricks and stained windows into angels and demons. A small crowd had gathered out of curiosity and the chance of gossip. Paramedics rushed in through the doors.

On the floor a young man lay convulsing against the stone cold grey floor. The church looked as though a hurricane had travelled through it, candles on the floor, pews broken and the screams of the young man echoing a furious harsh wind.

And upon the alter the cross had split in half

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Cliffy? Aren't they deep fun and joy!!!

Please review, reviews make me work faster!!!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

Hello all, sorry for the long update time, but thanks to heather03nmg and Classic Rock N' Cars, your reviews were a great encouragement. plus the fact that i went home and watched soem of series two; it gave me a new boost for the story so updates should be more regular. started the next chapter already so fingers crossed. this chapter is a little on the short side compared to usual but i wanted to update and it seemed a good place to leave it for chapter break.

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_Images crashed in and out of focus, flashing past too quick to take in and giving him the starter of one of **those** headaches. Somewhere, somehow he knew that this was a vision and important. The rest of him simply became immersed. It was like the feeling of seeing a deep pond and then stepping into its murky depths._

_An alter, a church, lightning, the face of a woman he only recognised from photographs, a chant in the background, a symbol, his father with **that** gun shaking and pointing. _

_James screaming that turned into…._

"Wake up lad, come on wake up."

Sam's eyes snapped open and he bolted up from the sofa that he'd fallen asleep on. He caught Matthew leaping out the way so that their heads narrowly missed colliding, he was too busy sucking air into his lungs. If he took enough then maybe the dizziness brought on from hyperventilation would make him forget. He looked up and caught the wide eyes gaze of his nephew opposite, shook yes but…something else was hidden in the child's gaze.

Sam closed his eyes and controlled his breathing, then looked around. Something wasn't right, didn't fit…

"Dean" he yelped "Where's Dean? Is he back" he asked demanding as Matthew stood up slowly.

The old man shook his head and glanced in James' direction.

Sam shook his head "Something's wrong" he said voice tight

"That boy takes off as and when"

"No" Sam said firmly, "No." he wiped a hand across his face and glanced out the window, noticing that it was considerably lighter than when he'd last stared out. "What time is it?" he asked breathing out slowly.

"Eight", Patricia said quietly from her place behind James.

Sam nodded and stood up "I'm gonna go look for him" he said deliberately only looking at his nephew. The boy stared back at him revealing nothing. Sam let his gaze travel upwards to Patricia who watched him stonily. He gave her a slight nod and then grabbed his jacket and went to walk out the door.

He'd closed it when James caught up with him.

"What do you mean something's wrong?" James asked suddenly.

Sam stopped and turned to look up at the boy who stood on the slightly raised porch. He opened his mouth to say something comforting, anything…

…and failed.

He looked away for a second then looked back to see a growing terror in James' eyes.

Sam took a deep breath "I'll bring him back" he said catching the hazel gaze.

James simply closed his eyes, pressed his lips together and nodded.

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Sam felt his heart stop as he neared the old church that had been the closest thing to familiar as he could remember in his childhood. The crowd outside had gathered for some drama, and the cop cars parked down the side gave a slightly more sinister reason. As did the yards of police tape that was slathered over entrances to the church.

Sam pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring gasps and mutterings. There was nothing to be seen at the front and he swore quietly in frustration. Turning he saw an old woman standing in her little blue cardie.

"I'm sorry" he said politely "But you couldn't tell me what's happened?"

Though there was a sad look on her face, the expression lit up slightly at the prospect of having a listener for a short while.

"Young man found in the church last night. Near dead they reckon. Woke me up last night with the screaming"

Sam swallowed "Screaming?"

"Yes dear, I only live up there you see" she pointed to a small house next to the church, which likely gave her a better view of the scene if that was what she had wanted. "My Harold used to be the grounds-keeper, kept the graves nice and cared for. Gone to ruin since his death. Over a year ago now that was"

Sam bit the inside of his cheek and nodded not wanting to loose any possible information "Have they I.D'd the man yet"

She shook her head "He's not a local boy, odd that. We had a few people come after the death of the pastor but most travellers were scared off the place. Still looks oddly familiar"

Sam ignored the rest of what she said feeling blood drain from his face.

"I'm sorry," he said cutting her off mid flow "but you don't know where they took him do you"

"Closest hospital I'd imagine" she said looking downcast that her eager listener would be off.

"Thanks" Sam said with a nod and faint smile. A weak smile he imagined. It was taking all he had to keep upright.

It had to be Dean, where else would Dean be? Sam grabbed his phone out his pocket and started rapidly dialling Dean one last time in some desperate hope. As far as he knew all Dean was suffering from was headaches and hand aches. Still Dean had been near dead, perhaps

Sam shook his head. No. He would let it happen again. Not now.

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John sat in the truck not really seeing the road in front of him. Not really hearing the blaring radio or even the engine under him.

_Dean's son_

Dean had a son, was…had been a father.

He'd not just failed his boys but another as well a…his grandson.

His head still couldn't understand it all, could not process. Not now it had sunk in.

Known what to do the minute that Bobby's statement had rung through the air with a knife. He'd buried his fists in him. Dean's boy was out there unprotected and Bobby had known all this time? He'd been doing it again, putting the hunt, the coming war before his family. And yet again Dean would suffer for it.

He'd walked out of there then, left them to it. He had no doubt that they would follow him, just as he knew that he would join back with them once the boy was safe. But for now, for this moment the boy was what was important.

And whatever mysterious activity was there, was a threat to his grandson, he'd kill it.

For Dean.

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Dean's eyes stared blankly up at the world, but completely unseeing. It was unnerving Sam thought, and horrifying. Every so often his body would spasm but the look of nothing on Dean's face never went away.

"_Your brother has nothing medically wrong with him"_

"_He's in a coma"_

"_every test that we run comes back negative. Even the convulsions don't register as normal. We have no idea what is wrong with him. I'm calling in a specialist but, I'm afraid sir that your brother may not last that long"_

"_I'm sorry"_

Sam sat on the chair in the room, steepled his fingers and rested his chin on his thumbs. He'd called Matthew earlier to tell him what had happened. He'd have to leave soon to strengthen the protection on the house, and on James.

But he had no idea what to do with Dean. Anything he did in a hospital room would be undone by nurses or cleaning staff. Yet something, or rather, Sam suspected, a certain demon had it in for Dean and leaving him unguarded would be stupid. He shook his head as he felt dampness swell behind his lids and his vision grew glassy. He sniffed and pressed his lips together.

_Girl_ a voice sounding like Dean's echoed in his mind. He smiled faintly at it.

"I…" he trailed off and took a deep breath rubbing his hands together. "Dean…"he shook his head "I hate this man. I have to go, and if you were here you'd want me to go. But…" he trailed off and looked down. Finally he looked up after several minutes and moved closer to the bed. Leaning down he put his mouth to Dean's ear.

"I don't know if you can hear me Dean but…I'll do it, I swear. I'm doing it. He'll come first, whatever happens in this, I promise he will come first"

Sam stepped away barely containing his tears, telling himself that he had to walk out of this room and leave his brother behind. But he couldn't move, it was if the moment he did so he would betray Dean. The second he made that move it was irreversible. And every second he stood here was another second for James to be in danger. And Dean could still be here when he returned.

Sam closed his eyes and moved one foot to the door, feeling as if he was falling. The next step was easier and easier.

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